Never Start a conversation with your children with "And what do you have to tell me?"

Never start a conversation with "And what do you have to tell me?"



As an add on to my earlier blog. Earlier this week I phoned my Cait and said;"So what have you got to tell me?"

She went into a panic and asked "Why mom what have I done" and I know in the back of her mind she was really asking "Why mom what have you found out?" I quickly explained in-between laughing at the pitch of panic in her voice;

"No please do not reveal any truths, my heart just can't take it - what I mean is -so what has been going on, give me some news!" "Not what have you been up to and don't hold anything back type of conversation."

This is not the type of conversation you want while you are at work trying to cope with the daily grind of work and stay focused. If you know Cait you will know that when she decides to unburden and share, you need to book a place at a spa where there is silence and serenity and preferably a bottle of Champagne on ice.

My Cait who says exactly what is on her mind and sometimes without thinking it through. I would never change this about her though it certainly adds spice to my life. She asked me a very personal question once while driving and to say I nearly crashed the car is an understatement.

I had to correct my driving and show the "I apologize sign" to the driver next to me who I nearly took out in shock. Making sure I didn’t use the other sign we South African drivers have got down to an art. You ever seen a woman driver with long nails pull that sign? It just loses its significance as it just looks STUPID!

Getting back to the conversation which was taking place. She looked at me with those innocent brown eyes and asked me the question. You know those questions we as parents dread, those questions your children ask you when they are very young. “Mommy where do babies come from?” type of questions - well this was nothing like that type of question ........ Oh give me that type of question any day! I can handle those questions without any hesitation.

No it was much more personal and on a much more adult level specifically related to my and Bernadette's relationship.

I blushed, I spluttered, I composed myself and instead of lying or dodging the question as most mothers would, I answered truthfully and couldn’t wait to tell Bern what Cait had asked me! Cait was mortified when she realizes I would tell Bern and begged me not to; but it was just too good to keep to myself.

She shrugged her shoulders and said "Oh well I was just asking!" As if she had been asking about the weather or what was for dinner and by the way "Please pass the salt" type of conversation.

We have a very good friend Shell who was visiting us recently and she is a real beauty inside and out.

Cait was saying she wants to have Shell’s features and excellent body. And she started to dissect her as we woman tend to do.

“Shell I want your perfect bottom”
“Shell I want your perfect top half”
“Shell I want your cheekbones”
“Shell I want you nose”
“Shell I want your perfect mouth”

Then she came to her chin….
"Um your chin… "NOT SO MUCH” said Cait.

Well you can imagine how we burst out laughing.

Shell sat there and grinned that -OH Yeah –grin, screwed up her mouth and did the - Talk to the hand action – and said

“Oh right; thanks for that – the chin NOT SO MUCH!

Of Cait said that on her it was perfect and that she was beautiful and gorgeous but the damage had been done. (Not really as Shell is truly a walking Beauty and has such a great sense of humour; one that we have grown to appreciate and learn from.)

We still use the NOT SO MUCH comment all the time. For example “I like your shoes, but your outfit – NOT SO MUCH!”

We have many of these silly sayings. And as people we use well known ones we have grown up with all the time.

Like that saying; Before you envy anyone his life or If you really want to know what someone life is like, you need to walk a mile in their shoes.

The other day while driving home I was talking about a my wonderful sister who I am sure has the best and most blessed life and was a little envious of how I perceive her life to be.

I then added the- If you really want to know what someone else life is like, you need to walk a mile in their shoes!

To which I added: If anyone wanted to walk in my shoes - They would have to have very small feet!

Bern was driving and eating an ice cream which is now on my splattered on my windscreen.

When she burst out laughing as she was thinking exactly the same thing!

A while back we were playing 30 seconds with the family which is a general knowledge game that gives you 30 seconds to answer 5 questions. Bern and I are still champions in this game.

The children swear we have learnt the answers off by heart but it’s usually easy to work out as we use a memory to a key word which relates to the subject at hand. Besides I am a genius and I get even more intelligent (Not so Much!) as the "Hooligan Juice" flows.

Ask my girls, they will tell you.

Now Bern’s sister was trying to explain a word.

Her clues –“When it’s very hot - its?” and she looks at us with her hands held out and an expression of "You know this on her face;"

Our answer – "it’s Damn Hot"

“No Man” she exclaimed - total frustration showing now

“When is really really Hot” she said

Our answer – “It's very very Hot!”

“No Man – when it’s extremely Hot!!!” by now she is almost shouting at us.

We shout back - "It's very, extremely and really really HOT!"

We just could not get the word.

The word was …. HEAT!

I mean really, I can think of many ways to explain that word. We are having a ...... waive and the temperature is very HOT.

So now when my girls get ready to go out and are all dressed up I tell them they look really (really) HEAT! Or those jeans make their bottoms look really (really) HEAT.

So now when my girls get ready to go out and are all dressed up I tell them they look really (really) HEAT! Or those jeans make their bottoms look really (really) HEAT.