BIRTHDAY CARD FROM CAIT

No words can describe the wonderful emotions that went through me when I received this slide show from Cait. I sat in front of my Computer and cried.

A MOTHERS GREATEST GIFT IN LIFE IS HER CHILDREN

- MY SARAH, MY MATHEW AND MY CAIT - MY TREASURES

These words will make every dry eye in the house tear up and you will understand the love I share with my children.

When I lost my mother years ago I believed I would never recover and that is mostly true but my children showed me that she lives on in them and they have so many of her special and wonderful traits.

To all parents out there, cherish your children and to everyone, cherish your mothers as they are the Angels God sent us and named them MOM.

People and their Odd ways

Going back to the morning Val fetched me after Jinx produced her litter. I sat in the car and was telling Val all about the labour and the lovely babies and the joys of birth.

I did not mention that I was sure I had forgotten to brush my teeth. I sat there very aware of the hairy feeling on my teeth and the sudden need to be quiet over came me.

How could I forget such a basic action? Something we do almost instinctively. Well think that Jinx chose to have her babies right by the basin was maybe why I was distracted.

I mean when I had to use the loo I had to sit sideways. You ever tried to sit on a loo sideways. It is just not designed for side sitting. Our butts are not shaped to fit on a toilet seat sideways. Any way the fact that my feet do not touch the ground properly makes this an even more ridiculous sight. Thank goodness I only had my animals to witness me sitting there with my feet dangling like a little 6 year old girl.

They do not design Loos for short people. Bern jokes that she will bring me a step. Not funny!

We picked Mathew up on the way to work that day and I was busy telling him all about Jinx and the new babies, when Matt dropped a whopper. Well I was secretly pleased as this would mask the fact that I had not brushed my teeth, but Val was not at all impressed. She asked him if he knew that a cow had died in his orifice and that he should really go and have that looked at.


Work had been challenging what with the new venture and the Lack of sleep. Bern and I are exhausted. We are coping with possibly three maybe four hours sleep. I know I looked quite horrendous. The phone calls and the work pressure became manageable and the e-mails flew back and forward about operation procedures and perceived mistakes, which I responded to and cleared up any misconceptions.

By now my nerves are frazzled but Bern managed to make me smile and I am finally got through the week. But there was one time......... when I lost it and admire Bernadette for having very little tact and a no nonsense attitude. She never faces the ridiculous situations I get myself into.

Being 5ft 2 ½ inches (don’t forget the ½ inch) does give me a decided advantage as I am always under estimated but because of my height I tend to be approached by strangers as I appear non-threatening . My children say I am the most non threatening person you will ever meet. I am naturally a nurturer and care giver. If fact if you read Sarah’s comments on my discipline blogs you will see I was quite an intimidating punisher …. NOT!!!

Well I can live with that, no one wants to known as a Bully, Bullies are the scourge of the earth and deserve to be beaten at their own game!.

Really I will be standing in a queue at the bank or at the supermarket and before I reach the till I will know the history of the person behind me or in front of me, I will know about their illness and their losses a and their children or parents. I swear to you I just stand there and I must have ‘TALK TO ME! Tattooed on my forehead.

Oh well worst things could happen, I could be one of those moaning myrtles hahahaha. As read my blog I realize that is exactly what I sound like. Aren’t you glad you are not in front of me in a queue as I might decide to unburden myself to you! I stand there and listen to their woes and have this smile stuck on my face when all I am thinking is “Please don’t’ talk to me please let me be invisible.

What makes you think I care about your ingrown toe nail or your lack of controlling your flatulence as you clearly have a problem with that because Buddy you smell!”


Have you ever wished you could turn around and say to them – “Does it look like I actually care?” but no that would be very bad mannered and I grin and bear the invasion of my privacy and offer a kind word and maybe a suggestion like “Go see a vet about your toe – or go see a therapist for advice as I am not qualified to help a psycho who speaks to complete strangers in a queue about their sex life or lack thereof.!"

No I stand there and watch the teller with beady eyes hoping she can read my subliminal messages I am sending. : Hurry up and rescue me from this Mad person who thinks I want to stand here and Chat when all I want to do is escape into my world and plan the day or next meal or just stand there and loose myself in my thoughts.


That never happens to Bern who is taller than me but she is on no manner a tall person or opposing but she is never underestimated. It is almost as if some people are born with the ability to command respect and are natural born leaders.

Being a woman manger in the freight industry is not an easy task, but I have yet to see her being treated with disrespect by her crew and the loyalty they show her is quite heartening. I wish I could muster up that kind of respect, but alas that is not to be, I have to handle things a little differently.

There was one time Bern had to go and do a collection while still working in Johannesburg and the client were struggling to move the boxes as they were quite heavy and they were quite surprised when Bern arrived without an assistant.

They stood there and watched her load the boxes in excess of 20 and then drive off. These wimps did not offer any assistance and it was only last month when one of them was telling the story to Sarah who still works with them.


The way he tells it. He and his work mate had struggled to move the boxes and when Bern arrived they were put to shame as she picked them up and loaded them and drove off with no effort at all. He said that he and his college stood there shamed and embarrassed and in awe of this woman who was smaller than them and certainly looked weaker than them put them to shame.

Brandon said right there and then he made the decision never to take Bern on and that he definitely had to go to gym to buff up.

Jinx and Her Gift to us

Jinx and her Gift to us.

After a full day at work on Wednesday with the normal day as normal as a day can be in the freight industry Bern and I were quote happy to lock the depots door behind us. II must admit that my battery was dead and I was on remote control. I checked on the deliveries. Handled the odd query and put out fires where necessary.

Finally it was home time and we finally arrived home at 19h30. When we arrived home I ran to check on jinx and saw that the little runt was seemed to be doing well. I picked him up and tried to warm his body with my mine. I held him in my shirt next to my heart and rubbed him and tried so hard to give him encouragement.

Jinx was very stressed out and she kept on trying to get her pup back from me. It was quite obvious that this little pup was not going to survive. So I returned her baby to Jinx, and she cuddled up with him and put her head on him after trying to encourage him to drink and 20h05 little baby had died.

All in all I was a puddle of a person and quite the shaky nervous version of Michelle – the mother of three, the defender of the weak and innocent. My trusty sword was like a deflated balloon, my shield of armour was my cell phone, and my body armour was my trusty pajamas and now I was armed with a wooden spoon and chicken fillets and garlic and cheese preparing dinner. Quite the terrifying warrior!

That was the last straw for me. I stood in the kitchen alone while Bern handled the cleaning up of the house and sorting out the bedding for Jinx and I sobbed at my failure to save this little pup. Today had just been a horrid day and to add to that, my one friend was not having a good time in Botswana and I felt so helpless to help not the three pups that died, I was also ineffectual in being able to help my long time friend from Zimbabwe days. All in all quite a devastating day.

Bern found me crying in the kitchen into the chicken, which I told her was now Chicken a la Tears and she listened while I told her just how terrible I felt. I am not a big hugger when I cry, it’s a space issue I think and I feel that if I allow myself to be hugged and pacified I will surely have a total break down so I handle my emotional outburst a little differently.

I analyze and over analyze the situations and turn the pain into anger or come up with a plan to prevent this happening again… but the loss of the third Pup and the office politics was quite draining. After the many hours of watching over Madam Jinx and the new branch I was in serious need to sleep and a little bit of TLC. Bern and I went and sat with Jinx and her pups and I watched the wriggling bundles of joy and marveled at how well Jinx had adjusted to being a mommy.

Jinx’s has brought such joy into our lives and her new additions have really added some extra spice to our lives.

Let me introduce you to her children.


Toffee was the first one to arrive-

She is quite a cutie with her lovely toffee colour body and black face. In some of the pictures I have taken she looks like she is wearing a toupee. I have her picture as my screen saver on my phone and yes she has stolen my heart. I held her when she was born and warmed her up in a scarf towel like thing as Jinx was still very confused about this birthing thing.

She kept on licking her baby sopping wet and playing shuttle board with her across the bathroom floor while she cleaned her. Toffee is adorable and she loves kisses and hugs and she tried to suck your lip when you kiss her. Such sweet kisses and she has inherited her mother’s soft minx like coat so soft and smooth

Chocolat was the next pup to be born. She came into the world so calmly and lay there quite dazed while her mom cleaned her wriggling and looking for food. Jinx went over board in cleaning her too and I finally rescued her to dry her off and they fell asleep on my lap, while jinx laid her head on my lap and had a cat nap as well.

Chocolat has this beautiful dark chocolate colouring and has this perfect shaped mouth with her little tongue hanging out most of the time. She is one of the larger pups and quite the adventurer as I have found her half way across the blanket she and her siblings sleep on when Jinx is taking a much needed rest. She loves cuddling and really likes to curl up in the crook of my neck and nuzzle and if I have to explain the hickies to Bern I will have to show her the proof as this one is a nuzzler of note. Chocolat has stolen Bern’s heart.

Lady Gwenevea was the next one to be born, she is not as large as her sisters but she is a moaner and believes she deserves first place in the food factory. She moans like a little engine. Grrr, rumble rumble and an occasional squeak.

She is a brown/black with the perfect a white chest and a triangle shape in black right in the middle of her chest. Hence the name Lady Gwenevea, I first called her Sir Lancelot as I did not see the other body parts as the umbilical cord was rather large and mistook that for his male gender… but no she is a perfect little lady and has the courage of a Knight as she bulldozes her way through the writhing bodies to claim her favourite teat and will not give up until she has wriggled her way in to her favourite watering hole.

Tiny was born next. He is a little bundle of wriggles and squirming. Drying him was not as easy as he was determined to escape. Jinx cleaned him and loved him and took extra care to make sure every part of him was cleaned by rolling him over and over as if he was a rolling pin. Tiny did not like this at all and he was added to the babies in my lap after mommy was satisfied that he was clean. He is quite the fighter and even though he is much smaller than his siblings he really is quite a strong boy.

Piglet was born next. Well when you see the pictures you will see why he is called Piglet. A perfectly pink smooth and mouthwith black freckles; with this cute little scrunched up face and he is adorable and cuddly and a beautiful shade of black with small white flashes.

In spite of his name, he is quite a placid pup, and not a needy little boy. Quite content and does not stir when he is picked up. I think he will be a gentle soul and will just go with the flow.

Max two was born next and he was the splitting image of his dad. Quite a big boy and has the bow tie to match, but he was one of the pups that did not make it. He was fine when I left for work, but when I got home he was gone. I was shattered, I gently took him and wrapped him in a dish cloth and did the little animal prayer for him and put him near his sister who was born while I was fetching my helper. She was a tan nut colour and would have been a real beauty.

What order the other four arrived in I have absolutely no idea. So I can only tell you about them.

There is Espresso a darker version of Chocolat. She is really big girl and a soft bundle of hugs and wriggles, you will for often than not find her at the bottom of the pile and she seems to thrive on the attention of being the ground sheet. Never a moan she should be called Gentle Bertha as she eats sleeps, allows her mom to clean her and push her around the blanket and just goes right back to sleep when the bath time is over

We have a Little squeaker a bundle of movement and he has an internal battery and he never stops. When he is not squeaking he is grumbling and climbing on top of the heap and would be the first one to fight his way to the nipple and he is an eater of note.

He is not a large boy but he has the heart of Goliath so he is called Goliath because of his courage and big heart. He has already learnt o bark and growl and it is so cute and he gets so frustrated and does this cute little barking crawling movement like a wind up toy. What a delightful little boy.


Runt came into this world much too tiny to survive, he really tried but I think he was too tiny to survive and I would rather not go into how cute he was and I will miss him.

So here is the list of My wonderful Jinx’s babies and she is such a good mom. Adoring and attentive and one of the joys of my rather horrid week.

Toffee
Chocolat
Lady Gwenevea

Tiny
Angel – tan one who did survive
Piglet
Max 2 – also did not survive
Espresso
Goliath
Runt – third loss

Animals and Sleep Depravation

Tuesday evening

Around about 16.15 I remembered I had to fetch my cleaner from the house and drop her at the taxi rank close to my work. I arrived home and immediately went to check on Jinx and the babies.

Shame there was another baby that did not make it. And there were definitely were more than 6 pups. There were 8 surviving pups. I couldn’t believe it this madam had had 10 pups. One of them was so small, even smaller than TINY from head to tail approx 9 cm. He was very small and very fragile but he seemed to be feeding and I was very worried about him and checked on him continuously.

When it comes to runts I have no idea how to look after the small frail pups and I just hoped that this little man would survive.

I returned to the office and processed the freight for the final hand over and arranged the final drop off at the airport and other agents. Then we went to the other depot and processed the economy freight and finally left for home at 19h30. A very long day and by now I was quite emotional and tired and utterly shattered because of lack of sleep.

I was preparing dinner when Jinx flew into the kitchen so excited and prancing around the kitchen. Her body language was one of “Please follow me” Concerned we rushed to the bedroom and she plopped herself down with her babies and we realized she just wanted to show off her babies and was missing the company.

Her evening ritual before the puppies arrived was to sit with us in the kitchen and get under our feet and I think she was lonely. So we sat with her and showered her with praise and love. I watched the runt drink and felt a little easier about his chances.

During the evening we checked on Jinx and her babies, Fed her at least three times and kept up the milk and egg mixture and Jinx stayed with her babies nursing them through out the night. She did ask to go out ever hour on the hour. After the night before we were really running on empty. At 1.12 our alarm went off and this time I was not responsible. I swear Bern rose out of the bed with help of levitation and switched off the alarm. Checked to see where the movement was in the house by the sensors.

Opened the door to the passage and kept an eye on Fiona to see if her danger radar was going to show there was trouble. Fiona showed no fear and Little Boy just kept on sleeping. So Bern opened the passage door with hesitation. On the other side of the door was Kitty with a new hair style. She was a big pom pom. Her hair all on edge and she had set the alarm off. We had no idea how she managed to get into the other side of the house and admonished her for giving us such a fright.

The security company phoned and I answered the phone: "Good evening Michelle this is Chubb here!” The operator must have been just as confused as I was, because he said "No ma'am, this is Justin from Chubb who am I speaking to?"

I started to stutter as I was almost unconscious and the laughter must have confused him because he quickly went into the protocol. Ma’am, are you all right, do you need assistance. Dont worry ma’am the armed response is on the way.” Stay on the line ma’am if you are able to.” I quickly pulled myself together and explained that it was my cat that set the alarm off and we were quite safe. I gave him the secret code and he very reluctantly said good night and wished me a good night’s sleep.

If only he knew how badly I needed a good nights sleep. I thanked him and babble away to Bern about the rescue mission I nearly caused. Her response was, “We need to be rescued from our animals” and she went back to sleep within seconds of her head hitting the pillow.

I envy her that ability. Bern has told me that on quite a few occasions I poke her awake to get up to the dogs. And when I am not happy with her promptness I fight with her and get up all huffy and annoyed and threaten to kill the dogs. The getting up and threatening to kill the dogs I most certainly do remember. The poking her awake I however do not,

I am sure she dreamt this up until she actually showed me the bruise on her arm as I somehow manage to hit the same spot on her arm. Oh well that happens when every hour on the hour I have to get up, And believe me Bern gets up during the evening to them as well.

Its not that they need to go an relieve themselves, not its because they may have heard a noise the want to investigate or just need to stretch their legs or the call of nature is at different times for them. Jinx’s constant need to attention was because she was very pregnant in the last weeks and before that it was the pressure on her bladder from the growing litter in her belly.

I thought I was finished with the Pajama drill years ago and I must admit that this lack of sleep is seriously affecting my sense of humour! I will get them to stop this constant need to go out side by making them sleep in the laundry a few nights and hopefully they will get the message.

Back to the loud and disturbing wake up call from Monster Kitty. After my heart had settled down to a manageable thump as you imagine the worst when your alarm goes off and you are ready to karate chop the first thing that comes into your room after managing to break down the very thick wooden door that would require a battering ram.

When you are woken up with the spine chilling thrill of the alarm you are not thinking straight. You are on edge and the adrenalin rushing through your blood stream you are on red alert. Monster Kitty is a Houdini I am sure as all the windows were closed on that side of the house. I am sure she has learnt the art of sneaking under cracks in the door.

I used this opportunity to let the dogs out again. Have you ever tried to focus when you are so tired you can barley walk and there you stand waiting for the dogs to return? You are so tired and also hear the call of nature yourself but you really do not want to walk down the long passage to the bathroom only to have to return to the kitchen to let the dogs back inside.

You do the moving from one foot to the other, and pray for help and eventually you give in and stumble to the bathroom only to hear the dogs scratch at the door to come back inside. This nightly walk down what I now refer to as Dead man Walking is really becoming an issue for me and I am tempted to leave the monsters outside for the night.

I said tempted, not that I ever would, not forgetting that Jinx would most probably break the door down to get to her babies – Fiona and Little boy would be traumatized by having to sleep outside like normal animals….and there is that fear we animal lovers live with, that some cruel excuse of a human would poison the. Yes we have experienced this in Johannesburg and I really can not go through that again. I crawled back into bed and in approximately 20 minutes I was fast asleep again.

Kitty was not at all happy with this and she woke me up for love and was biting my fingers and purring so loud I thought we were being raided by helicopters. My life with animals is so filled with pleasure, pain and joy. However there are times when I would gladly trade them in for a full nights sleep.

Half awake and half dead, I petted Kitty and hoped she would sleep, but no she had other ideas and she wanted to play. Zap zap, my fingers were mauled and shredded and by now I was quite helpless to protect myself and left her to her fun.

This was not good enough for Kitty, she jumped on my hands then Bern’s foot which she wriggles in her sleep and the “What the F%$#" that rushed out of Bern’s mouth as Kitty was hanging off her foot like a trapeze artist, claws deeply dug in as she misjudged the end of the bed put end to our attempts to sleep. Kitty was bored and she needed to get rid of her pent up energies and Bern and I were hapless victims. Too tired to fight back and to deflated to find the energy to push Kitty out of the room I simply lay there

I tried to hide my hands under my pillow but she then decided this was part of the game and she burrowed under the pillows and hooked my skin with her nails and pulled them out. In frustration I dragged my very weary body out of bed and offered her food and this seemed to pacify her. She then went to sleep as close to Jinx as Jinx would allow her. Kitty was missing her Best Friend.

The unfair part of this whole animal thing is that they sleep the day away, waiting for the caregivers to come home and these caregivers also double as toys.

3.15am Wake Up call!

Tuesday: 3rd November 2009

Besides being absolutely shattered and so tense and on edge, Tuesday was a good day. The collections went extremely smoothly and all looked good in the land of distribution

I must say I was happy when Tuesday ended and there were fewer mails. I dealt with them one by one. 20h00 hours I finally got home from work after dropping Matt at home. A long day and one that I really could have done without.

Bern and I did the animal feeding thing and Madam Jinx decides that she is not going to eat, no she is actually panting and we know it’s the first stages of labour. Bern and I told her quite sternly (ha ha) to not go into labour that night as we were exhausted.

Well madam Jinx listened to us. She went through the evening doing the pre-huffing and puffing. She lay next to my bed and asked for rubs and love incessantly. After the last loo call just before midnight Bern and I finally crashed.

At 3.15 Fiona woke me up with a woof right in the face. I had heard a funny squeaking noise that I was sure was a sound effect from my dreams, but in actual fact, Madam Jinx had had her first baby.

I stumbled out of bed and saw this lovely toffee coloured little wriggling bundle on the bathroom floor. Madam jinx was on top of our clothes that were in a pile to be taken to the laundry the following day. Right on top of our laundry she was giving birth.

I called Bern to wake up and help me get Jinx a blanket or something else to lie on. Bern was quite disorientated as was I but we grabbed an old sheet and put it in the corner of the bathroom where Jinx had chosen to have her babies. No sooner had we moved the clothes and dumped them by the shower, Jinx got up and went and lay on them again. Now I know this has something to do with feeling safe by having a familiar smell around her. So gently I coached her back on the sheet and had her baby girl in my hands. Jinx then climbed half onto my lap and I swear we both did the heavy breathing. The second baby arrived an hour later. By now it was past 4.00 am and Bern and I knew that we were going to have a problem with work that day, as our normal wake up time was 4.50am and we had to be at the office by no later than 6.00am.

Bern left me with our wonderful Jinx who was busy cleaning her two additions and sitting/lying on my lap. I was rubbing her back and she was shivering with the pain of the contractions. This is when Monster Kitty decided enough was enough. Her best friend was in trouble and she was determined to have a serious chat with these little rats like looking things that had made an unexpected arrival in the bathroom.

She approached the babies with curiosity and very tentatively tried to smell them, her reward was a warning snarl from Jinx and I thought it would be best to remove her from the room. So I picked up Monster kitty and as I was walking away Jinx became quite distressed. I thought it was because I was leaving, but no, she was upset that I was taking her best friend out the room. The reason I know this is because she left her new born pups followed me to the bedroom door while I pushed Monster out of the room. Jinx looked up at me and cried at the door.

Now I miss-took this to mean she needed to go out, which is not normal for dogs while they are in labour, but hey Jinx is not normal is she? She is quite a wonderful addition to our family and has her way of handling situations.

So I opened the door thinking she would run out, no she greeted Monster Kitty who was crying at the door by kissing her and went right back to the sheet and her newly born puppies. She settled down and cleaned her babies and when she was satisfied that they were clean enough she rested her head-on my lap.

By the time Bern was ready to leave the third pup was on his way. Three babies and Bern had to leave me to handle the rest of the labour as we knew full well that Jinx was going to have quite a large litter as she was past being called big, she was humongous.

While this was going on Fiona and Little Boy refused to leave the bathroom area. They sat as if they were the medical stand by team, lying down and watching the proceedings with a whine and a whimper every now and then. Fiona would every now and then come and give Jinx a kiss on her head, and lick her but she realized she had to stay away from the babies. She just wanted to see the babies.

When Little Boy joined our Family, Fiona immediately adopted him and he was now her child. I must admit that I was worried how she would react to Jinx’s babies as she is quite jealous of the time Jinx gets as she is my shadow and Jinx is too young to realize that Fiona is the Dominant Female and the leader of the pack after me. Yes I am the leader of the pack, followed closely by Bern.

The animals realise I am the one who feeds them most of the time. Fiona had disciplined Jinx on a few occasions and we now keep Jinx in a separate part of the Garden, where her best friend Monster Kitty plays with her all day.

So Jinx had me as her head rest, Fiona as the stand by Midwife and Little Boy as the whaler and announcer (like the newspaper boys – read about it read all about it; Jinx is an unwed Mother of three!! And more to come) Monster Kitty was never more than 15 cm away fro her best friend through this whole process.

At 6.00 am I phoned our friend Val and asked her for a lift to work, Matt had missed his lift with Bern so I arranged to fetch him too. I quickly showered and kept an eye on Jinx, she now had 4 babies, one with a perfect shield on the chest and one very small one. Ok so I named them already – sue me. Toffee, Chocolat, Sir Lancelot coz of the shield perfectly shaped on its chest and Runty I named ….. How original – TINY.

While I was getting dressed and taking the rubbish out, Jinx was ready for her 5th one. I arrived and sat and did the llamas with her. I was sitting on my haunches and breathing with her and pushing with her and telling her she was a good girl and -and telling her it was nearly over and this took about ½ an hour. By the time she was finished, I was frozen in that position. Stiff and could not straighten up.

So I did what anyone as unfit as I am would do. I plonked myself down on my butt and had this crab on his back like effect stance, legs all crooked. I sat there, half lying down to tried to un-cramp and unfold my legs.

Fiona must have though I needed encouragement as she decided I needed a lick of encouragement in my ear. Well that was enough for me to forget about being gentle as I unfolded my body. My legs shot out straight and the searing pain as my muscles unfolded was I am sure as excruciating as giving birth.

I moaned and I am sure Fiona thought I was giving birth as well and Little Boy just thought I needed to be sat on- on my chest as I half lay there.

Not half as funny as it sounds. I managed to pull myself up and walked with a hunch to the bedroom and finished getting dressed. I had been in my track and pants until then as I did not want to get my work clothes all grubby. I was like a stooped over old lady. All rickety and stiff from sitting on a cold bathroom floor since 3.15 with one trip to take OUT THE RUBBISH my favourite time of the week.

I managed a 5 minute shower. I threw my clothes on but this time I made sure I matched. No gold red/floral white gaudy shirt with brown stripped pants.

Actually I thought I looked respectable clothing wise with me new work tops on, with pink, and beige little diamonds across the chest. A very nice gofd shirt I chose for my operational position at work, however my hair was a mess and I had no make up and looked haggard I am sure.

I received a call from Val, and went out to meet her at the car after locking Jinx in the house and Fiona and little boy out side and Kitty out side the bedroom.

I was planning to come back as I needed to bring my helper to clean the house. I also needed to fetch my car that was at the depot.

This was the beginning to a very full day and it was going to get even busier.

Building Sand Castles

To lighten the earlier blogs I would like to throw in some light hearted humour. And who does that best but my three wonderful children and their wonderful friends.

A good starting point will have to be the last visit from Sarah and Dom, the only dark cloud was that my Angel Cait was not with them but it was not to be this time.

Dom is Sarah’s best friend and she is also a professional belly dancer and a qualified beauty therapist. What an amazing person with the sense of humour that catches you by surprise as her face speaks innocence and her words defy that innocence.

Before they left to return to Johannesburg we went to the beach as I have mentioned earlier. The wind was fierce but it was a nice warm day and all in all glorious day. Dom is a dark skinned beauty and my Sarah a fair skinned beauty, the sun was not very kind to my Sarah and she left with a tan to match her lovely red hair.

Sarah and Dom played the fool and while horsing around Dom tripped on the sea sand and fell so gracefully. This was the start of a photo session and I managed to get it all on my cell phone. Walk, frolic, skip, dance and oops, slow motion tumble onto the sea sand. I love the fact that the sea manages to bring the child out in all of us.

One time at Balito we met our friend Tash – I mentioned her before- the poor victim of Kings the drinking game. Matt decided to hide Cait's shoes in the sand while she went for a stroll down the beach and it was quite a challenge for her to find her shoes. Sea sand is not so soft when you are trying to dig for the hidden treasure. She was a good sport and entertained us with her dig skills. Bottom up in the air and every now and then she would lose her balance and fall into the hole she was digging.


I of course being the mom I am got a little upset and asked Matt to help her find her shoes. I was boohed for being such a mom and Cait even told me to chill as this was all done in good fun. Cait did the digging in the sand pushing the sand through her legs as she scooped the sand out she sprayed all of us and circled around the hole with such child like glee we all joined in and before long I buried Sarah and Bern’s feet in the sand. Thumping the sand hard and nearly breaking their toes. Bern has the funniest toes not to mention her knees.

Her big toe would not behave and stay hidden so for its efforts of trying to escape I thumped it down with a shoe. I am sure I nearly broke it. Did I mention that we were having a nice picnic o the beach mainly consisting of Breezes and Millers and Sangria? Sarah loved the visit and the family time. Cait was still living with Bern and me at the time. We took long walks on the beach and shared the most wonderful day.

Cait of course decided to seek her revenge and buried his shoes when he was away from our picnic spot. But she is much more devious than we ever anticipated. She buried them in one spot and made sure that when Matt returned he would catch her “filling in” a hole about a meter away from the real treasure spot.

Mat dug and dug for ages with us giving him tips, warmer; colder; to your left; to your right until Cait took pity on him and showed him where the X spot was! As I said the sea brings out the child in all of us. I am sure we have all either buried someone in the sand or been victim to being buried in the sand. Tash and her hubbub James had such a good time with us they stayed the night with us and as I have previously mentioned we played Kings and Tash lost horribly.

Our weekend with Sarah and Dom came to an ending much too quickly and I loved every minute of having young people in the home again.

After a lovely morning we were eating a very special meal I prepared for them before they embarked on their 6 hour journey back to Johannesburg. A chicken and pecan nut dish with a touch of honey and mustard which was eaten with enjoyment and we were quite sad to see them go.

Dom was waiting for call from her parents, but alas they did not phone and with a wicked sense of humour Sarah would call her if she left the room and tell her, her phone was ringing. Of course it was not and Dom would run to her phone only to see a blank screen. She fell for it every time. I was tempted to miss call her but could not be that cruel.

We left to drop them at the chosen drop off point but I got a bee in my bonnet to go and see if I could find a new pair of cargo pants and tops for work – but I had no shoes on. My friend Rose will laugh at this as she hardly ever wears shoes and I have made more than one comment about how she had better make sure she wears shoes when she visits. All I had on was a pair of socks as I was not planning to get out of the car when we left to drop the girls. Note to self….always be prepared like a good girl scout.

While we were shopping, the girls lift finally arrived and I hope Seth did not notice the state of my missing shoes. As Sarah told me he is quite a hottie and I can still appreciate a good looking human. I mean I may be old but I am not dead.

I left the shop to go and help them grab their things. Bernadette was in the queue to pay for the clothing so she said her good byes to the girls. As I opened the boot of my car, did I not feel a right fool? In my car boot were my white beach slops! I quickly put them on and bade the girls goodbye told Seth that he had better driver carefully and returned to the shop to claim my new additions to my very meager wardrobe.

As is always the case, these electronic systems always cause a problem and after swiping my debit card several times before the shop attendant accepted that we would have to go and draw cash from the ATM. Why is it that the shop attendants think that if it didn’t work the first three times, it will magically just come right and if they rub your card against their shirt a magic genie will suddenly appear and grant them their every wish!

Quite frustrated and ready to just leave our choices at the counter and walk away, Bernadette who is normally the impatient one refused to be defeated by electronic demons and we walked to the ATM to draw the money for our purchase.

I should have guessed that the week would be a difficult one just from trying to purchase goods! You know that feeling of doom that hits us and we deny or primal instincts. ..............

Well that is for another time when I have run out of stories!

Last week the week from Hell - How it started

This week was supposed to be an exciting week. One filled with new experiences and challenges. One that I had been so excited to start.

Finally after a lot of preparation I was going to have my own little branch. Everything under one roof, express freight and road freight all under one roof and all under my control. But like every fairy tale there is an evil force called Murphy's Law that just won’t allow a happy ending without interference and catastrophe and unforeseen difficulties.

Until it actually starts no amount of preparation can foresee the hidden hiccups and procedural mishaps

Bright and early on Monday 5.30am! Yes 5.30 am Bernadette and I were at work. All good intentions as they say. Now the weekend past had been wonderful as we had had Sarah and Dom for a visit and we had a wonderful time. It was no time to knuckle down and face the challenges.

We had prepared as best we could. Drivers prepped, scalpel in hand (our pens) sensible shoes for the long walks across the warehouse floor, jeans and T-Shirt and hair most definitely not done and the lack of make up must have made me look like death warmed up. But at that time of the morning I would have to wake up at 4.00 to do my hair to leave for work on time.

Keep in mind that Bernadette and I get up every hour on the hour for Jinx. So the hair and beauty sessions had to wait until I had mastered this new challenge or die trying.

Realize that this whole venture is new for me as I am used to handling the sales side of Express Freight and although I do have knowledge of the operational side of things this is very much a new learning experience for me.

However even I know that I a not a total blithering idiot and I do have a concept of what is required and how important cost saving is and how important service levels are in our industry. I have not been selling this service for 18 years without learning something. I was not prepared for internal politics though and Some e-mails need to be sent with a warning:

Something like this… “Beware – do not open without a fire extinguisher present and a strong tranquilizer and for your own sanity a sledge hammer to smash the damn computer to bits and pieces!”

The contents of the mail are not important as this not a forum to air my grievances.

I walked away from my computer and attacked Bernadette with questions and statements without explaining what I was on about in a very loud and accusing voice.

Poor Bern stood there and realized that this is not one of those times she is actually supposed to respond. I stood on the loading bay doing the walk of the very angry and very frustrated and was pontificating and using choice language and venting to such an extent that I think I nearly lost my self control. Why is it when people are angry they talk up to the ceiling or the sky?

Parents do this a lot when they are shouting orders to their children about dishes not being done or some chore that needs doing or a threat of imminent death if they continued with their squabbling. It is almost as if we believe our voices will carry further when in fact I think it’s a natural instinct, almost a prayer we send up to the universe hoping for some divine intervention. Have you ever watched someone having this type of conversation with their children.

They pace up and down and gesticulate and wave their hands arund as if they are directing air traffic. Come Plane Come Plane, and they raise their voices as they ask the questions Like " What do you expect

me to do
" When I asked you to fetch your brother for me - I did not mean Yell for him... I could have done that Myself!"

Their body language is one of a leaping Hynea as they pace up and down, sometimes pounding their fit on a counter of hitting themselves on the head in exasperation. In truth they look like they are having a fit and unless you have experiened this frustration FIRST HAND, YOU WOULD BE DIALING 911.

I paced up and down on the loading bay, dodging pallets on the floor, and boxes and drivers on the fork lift. I was so involved in my discussion with myself if truth be told that I nearly walk right off the loading bay and would have landed on the tarred parking area if Bern had not pulled me back. This would have been realy bad as I left my fairy wings at home and my body padding would not have helped me one bit. Tar and flesh.... that is one fight the flesh never wins. In fact it is no contest at all.

I usually control my temper quite well and deal with office politics by ignoring it but after being sleep deprived and the need to make a success of this Durban branch I was at my worst. My emotions just got the better of me. So I ranted and raved and when Bern did not answer my questions I growled at her in frustration. She looked at me quite helpless as she knew nothing she would say would help me so she just said.

“Give it time and things will clam down, you know you can handle this, you have handled a lot worse."

I stood there and my insanity slipped away and I watched My Bern trying to make sense of my war dance and I had to smile because to an onlooker we must have looked like we were doing the dance of the bull and the matador. Me being the matador.

In actual fact I think Bern was just trying to stay clear of my waiving hands and also was trying to stop me from killing myself by flying off the loading bay in absolute confusion.

So I went to my office and put the music up very loudly on my computer and jammed in my office.

I totally forgot that I had a big glass window which looks out onto the warehouse floor. I was doing the air guitar dance and the twist and shake and my version of the booty dance like Byonce. More like a pygmy who has stood on a nest of Matabele ants! Quite frankly I was so lost in my need to work off my frustrations I was not aware that I had attracted quite an audience - window lickers as Bern refers to people who stare.

When I finally noticed, I just bowed and accepted the looks of confusion on the drivers and their assistants’ faces and sat down to hide my head in my hands.

I was now prepared and now knew exactly what to expect. Being pre warned is being pre-armed and I may not know the office politics and the art of ware fare, however I do know the art of driving people crazy with my calm responses and my absolute refusal to take the bait.

Something I have learnt through years of being with difficult people, bosses, ex’s, even my children at times. One thing which is totally true, it takes two people to fight and if I simply refuse to take the bait.

The pointers and even the criticism are helpful and welcomed and I learn and implement what works for me in any difficult situation I am faced with. I very seldom will have a stand up fight unless my family is being threatened - then the gloves come off...

My mom would have been proud of me as she was ever the diplomat and peace maker and would take a situation and turn it into a better one with one goal in mind.. Keep peace in the home or work place.

Lets hope this week brings less tears and more joy!

The Lighter side to Life

My first visit to the Durban beach here when we arrived here was a day of great anticipation and excitement. I am more a tree person with running brooks or water and cool shady spots. I think I am actually a tree urchin disguised as a mom and a wife.

Not a very good tree urchin though as I am scared of heights so maybe I am a hobbit after all who lives on the roots of the trees!

New costume, board shorts, all donned out with sun block, I decided to brave the sea, Cait, myself and Bernadette. I looked like an albino whale, but hey as all tourists I decided to hell with appearances I was going to test the waters.

Like any novice and tourist I was like shark bait in the water. Cait was trying to help my when the waves crashed on me but all she managed to do was get caught up in my fall and swirl and tumble and toss of almost drowning. The waves swept me to Bernadette and poor Bern was almost knocked off her feet by two flying imbeciles and her thanks was a big bruise on her knee for her efforts. This was hysterical and I learnt a very valuable lesson. Not the lesson you would think I needed to learn…. Not to go into the water. No I learnt that I cannot laugh under water and I must learn to keep my mouth closed and wipe the snot off my face when I finally surface. Quite the picture of beauty, hair all dishevelled, body covered in sea sand, snot running down my face, and I am sure we have all experienced the invasion of the sea sand.

How on earth are we supposed to protect ourselves for this invasion of our body part? I suddenly had these very odd shaped breasts, and my board shorts were weighted down with at least 10kgs of sea sand as the pockets had filled up. My costume bottoms were bulky and quite squishy with the sea sand that manages to sneak in. If I was not a sight when I entered the sea I most certainly was a sight now, the albino whale, with a hairstyle that could only be described as belonging in one of the Muppet shows from days gone by, I would have been used to play the role of ANIMAL the cookie monster! The extra bulges and glazed donut look would have been brilliant on a horror movie. Cait on the other hand looked unscathed but a little bustier than when she entered the sea.

Bern was all intact and rescued us from out tumble and insisted on holding my hand after that experience. I of course listened …. Not! - and would escape and try to show her and Cait just how skilled I was at body surfing. All I showed them was that I was an experienced body tumbler and sea sand receptacle.

I am a master at escaping. Years ago after we had been attacked, I was in a wheel chair for quite a few weeks, and we would go shopping and I would patiently follow along as Bernadette and my children loaded the trolley. However this was just too boring for me and when their backs were turned I would use my foot as a lever and push myself backwards out of the isle we were in.

I THOUGHT I was as stealth as James Bond and as quiet as a mouse in church. I would push myself away and would be giggling to myself, so sure I had foxed them. I am not very bright when it comes to subterfuge or war game tactics and never though to look up and see that my actions were on display for everyone to see on the big rounded mirrors they have in the Super Markets and Bernadette and the children were watching my escape with quiet amusement and had looks on their faces that can only be described as “You are so pathetic and cute at the same time!”


They would wait for me to find my hiding spot and then carry on shopping till they came into my isle where I was hiding behind the egg stand or toy stand or whatever I thought would hide my wheel chair with my leg sticking out at least 50cm as it was in a brace on the leg support. Not much of a super spy! Have you also noticed that people are just so unobservant when it comes to wheel chairs, people with crutches and they seem to take perverse pleasure in bumping into you and never apologize?

They also use the parking for the disabled, this really annoys me as the one time I needed the parking for disabled I landed up having to find parking quite a distance from where I wanted to go. I cam up with a plan to devise a sticker which you plaster on the vehicles window which says, Stupidity is Not a Disability and neither in being and inconsiderate a Hole! But all I did was leave nasty notes and told them they needed to check their tyres as I had put a slow puncture in one of them, which of course I did not. But I am sure I had them guessing.

Lets get back to my version of body surfing. The being dumped in the sea was no deterrent and I eventually became quite brave and went out quite deep into the water – it was great fun. However the leaving the sea – not so much. The walk on the hot sea sand can only be described as the hot trot and jiggle dance. One does try to look seductive and fetching in our costumes even when we have the bodies of an old lady and the lumps and bumps that go with it - like Bo Derrick in the Movie 10, or those romantic moves where the ladies run across the beach all gracefully and ever so fetching - No I look like Big Mama plodding like a heifer lump across the beach. So you have this jiggling mass of lard skipping, running (not that I can run since my knee op) and flopping like a fish out of water on the sea sand and finally make your way to the out door showers. You then proceed to do the wash the sand out of the orifices of ones body.

You stand there with your costume pulled away from your body to wash the sand off, and without realizing it you are actually showing the on lookers and life guards what you carefully made sure was not exposed when you came out the sea. Who I have to say are nothing like Bay Watch. You stand at this awkward angle, bottom sticking out towards the crowds, while you push your chest into the water and openly and without shame, you feel your self off in public, you rinse the sea sand off, you rub the sand off your body parts with your hands. You put your head back to avoid the splashing of the water, only to look like you are actually enjoying it as no doubt you have your mouth open to breath as your nostrils are filled with sea sand and human gunk!

When you are finished with that, you turn around and open your board shorts or costume bottom and proceed to do the same thing with your hands and you wash the sand off your lower body. I am surprised no one had been arrested for indecent exposure.

This in not a seductive dance, no this is an attempt to stop the sand from acting like a sand paper agent and thereby removing copious amounts of body skin from areas that are never supposed to exfoliated and I mean never.

One weekend we were doing the shower exposure routine and there was this Daddy who was cleaning the sea sand off his young children who were between 4 and 6. He stripped them and washed them and almost turned them upside down to get the sand out if the private areas. He then rubbed them dry with such force and enthusiasm that they looked like little Rag dolls. The little girl did not like the shower upside down episode and like the rubbing down even more and her revenge was to blow her nose on his shorts. Cait and I nearly collapsed at this entertainment. Dads really lack that gentle touch but girls even at a young age know how to seek revenge. It was great and I could see the shock horror and repulsion of this dads face when he realized he was now a walking hanky chief!

Cait loved the sea and the waves and the rush of that big wave creeping up to you unexpectedly. She would grab my hand and we never communicated whether we were going to dive into the wave or jump up over the wave. So I would go under and she would try to jump and what would happen is the wave would knock us off our feet and we would roll and tumble in the wave and experience the after life almost first hand. We did not need a second lesson after one wave really knocked the air out of us, and I must say I still had not learnt to stop laughing under water. Sea water is really disgusting to swallow.

Then winter arrived and the beach visits became less and less, but I have the photos of our happy times and a few more freckles and wrinkles from our escapades in the sea.

Discipline 3 – In defense of what us Parents say.

Sarah and her best friend Dom visited this weekend and we thoroughly enjoyed our time with them. While we were sitting on the beach Café in Durban, Sarah and Dom were playing the fool and enjoying the views and when I say views I am not referring to the sea and the lovely beaches!! No they were surveying the talent and got caught quite a few times as they forgot to close their mouths when they were drooling.


We sat there and the topic of my last two blogs came up about how Parents have the ability to ask the dumbest questions or make the most idiotic statements. Of which I have been told I am most seriously guilty of – so here are a few more that the girls and Bern came up with;

“Do you want me to ground you?” Sarah’s comment this weekend was “Yes mom, please and then can we go and have a Brazilian wax as this is right up there with my favourite things to do!”

Although I must admit there have been times when I have said to my children, “Do you want me to force you to go out?” As there were times when I could have done with some me time.

This falls into the same category as “Do you want a hiding?” Sarah and Dom asked me why is that parents ask the most obvious questions to which they already know the answers to.

I responded in a mocking response (reminding them of their favourite response to any question I asked them as a child “IDONT KNOW”

I believe we parents ask these nonsensical questions as we are quite out of our league when it comes to understanding the minds and calculating behaviour our children seem to have especially as they hit the teen years. I have a theory, Aliens do exist. They inhabit the modern teenager and do not leave their bodies until the parents have totally surrendered or the teenagers are out of the home. In some cases, I know of some people who are still inhabited by aliens.

When a parent asks this question “Do you want me to ground you?” What they tend to forget is if you ground the child you are also grounding yourself, so its double punishment. The child hates you and you are stuck at home with them while the rest of the family continues with their fun and games on the weekend.


The only time this threat works is if there is a special date or occasion and you as the parent know your child will be a saint until the event has taken place. Then all bets are off.

When I as a parent asked one of the following I have to admit I had reached the point of no-return. My brains were mush and I was almost a weeping puddle of a pathetic mother who like so many other parents has wondered how our parents managed to cope.

“Do you hear me?" And this is said with a pitch at the end of the hear part and me. Picture this, you are standing right in front of your child, more than likely nose to nose and you waggle your finger in their faces and ask them “Do you hear me?” – However this is when the insanity sets in because you repeat your question possibly more than twice.

The transformation in your child can only be described and butterfly into caterpillar. They look at you with their beady eyes, the full emotion of how much they dislike you at this particular moment not masked one bit. They stare back at you and bite their lip as if they want to swallow the words they so long to say. You don’t see that you are in fact in quick- sand; no you are by no oblivious to the terrors that await you. So you ask again “Do you hear me?”

To which they reply “I don’t know!” The answer to every question you ever ask them and this continues up into their 20’s, I only hope not into their 30’s because so help me... I will have a nervous breakdown.

You know they hear you and you know they are trying to get away from you, however you have now become possessed and you rattle off instructions and threats of mass destruction, you either choose one of the following – or if you have totally lost your path back to sanity you use quite a few combinations all at once.


“Do you understand me?” My thought as a teenager used to be how can you expect me to understand you when you can’t even understand what you are saying, and Oh please use a tic tac.

“What are those things on the side of your head – Ornaments?” No dad, these are my antennae and if you not careful I will…. But no we answered our safe answer --- “I DON’T KNOW”

“YOU WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!” – poor dads, they come home ready for a love and cuddle from their kids and the kids meet him at the gate apologizing and blaming each other, or as is the case in our house..

Bain and I hid my father’s belts (well burnt them to be honest) we snuck into the room after he got home from work one night, took all his belts including the one he had in his trousers which he had hanging on the chair…. And we burnt them. The next Day my dad wanted to know where his belts were and of course no one had a clue. This was the case with most questions, like what happened to my slops (ummmm we got rid of those too) where all our wooden are spoons (ummmm well you see they just vanished).

A person would swear Bain and I got into trouble a lot, which was most probably true as we were terrors, but in hind sight the hidings were not that frequent but we sure remembered them.

Enough now, I could go on and on as my children so often tell me, but I think we need to focus on how we are going to find a cure for the alien’s that take over our angels at the age of puberty and if we are lucky they return to us between 16 – 20! Thank goodness I talk alien from time to time and they talk human from time to time.