Reflecting on the past year and life in general

Reflecting on the past year and life in general

This year has been a year of challenges, changes and new starts. Over the last two weeks I have been asked by my family why I have not blogged and what is going on?

The reason for this is not a simple one. Yes, my life has been filled with events and funny situations but I have to admit that I have been struggling a bit. Now I realize that my blog is not read by the world or even missed and I have had a few more rejections for my proposed books – the one I wrote for my children and a condensed version of my blog. Now I accept that I am not great literary genius and the book I wrote for my children 13 years ago was written out of desperation to communicate with my children while they were living with their dad during a traumatic time and we were all lost, hurt, and shattered.

Re-writing the children’s book has been a revelation and if no one ever wants to publish it then so be it. I will have it printed and bound for my children and this little story based on them and the imaginary world I created can be shared with their children and I will edit it and give to them as I intended to do all those years ago. As for my blog, I have been distracted with the publishers who want me to pay towards getting the book published and agents who admit they have not even read the prescribed pages I sent to them. Or the stereo type response, we appreciate your decision to send us your manuscript – however we are too busy or the content is not what we specialize in – or whatever they decide is the best way to say they think your work sucks and they would never represent me….. So I was a little distracted and had to accept that my daily occurrences or simple life is exactly that – simply put “My Life” I needed to remember why I started the blog in the first place.

Sarah asked me to do it and my friend Christine encouraged me to start my blog to share my funny moments, or my moments of tears as they were fun to read and interesting. This was never meant to be a book; it was a way to keep in touch with my family and my friends. After it was suggested I try to get it published, I began to focus on what is expected and what would be commercially viable and I believe lost the thread of what I was actually doing. Instead of writing because I love it and updating my family, I became concerned with what was acceptable to write about and what would be considered offensive and what may be construed in the wrong way – instead of just being me and letting it flow – I worried about diction and sentence structure and lost the joy of writing. I ask myself now while I sit here – why should I care. So what – my sentences may not be perfect, my word structure incorrect, comments made about how I write distracted me and criticism made me doubt myself ….. It is not as if I have many followers and it not as if my life will affect anyone else. This blog was created for my children first and foremost.

One day when it is my time to move on – they have a diary so to speak where if they choose they can go back and re-live our shared laughter and tears and hopefully this will help them with their healing as they face life and milestones they will face in the years to come without me.

Let me explain… we all miss out loved ones who have left us and are no longer available to chat to or visit. Moreover, there are many days when I wish I were able to have a bird’s eye view on our lost loved ones lives. When they were growing up or simply how they faced the challenges that I seem to face.

My biggest loss and one I deal with every day is the loss of my parents, more specifically my mother as she was not only my mother she was my best friend. And no, this is not just a cliché, she really understood me and took the time to listen to me and we shared a bond that had this element of a spiritual connection. One I seem to share with my children thank goodness. I am not able to explain it, call it mother's intuition, but my mother knew when things were not great at home. When I was being bullied by my husband or when I felt totally lost as a mother and she would phone me. I of course had not told her what was going on as I wanted to spare her the stress and protect her from my bad choices – but somehow she always knew. She would phone and ask me what was wrong, and I would say I was fine and she would tell me not to lie to her, as she knew "everything was not great." Somehow, she just knew in her heart that my life was in shambles. That my health was suffering, or I was lost or my children were not doing so well. I miss those phone calls and I miss her guidance. She never judged, she never corrected me, she simply allowed me to share my pain and supported me and loved me regardless of what I had done or the choices I had made.

I promised myself that I would try and live up to the very high standards she set as a mother and not be an interfering mother, but to be a mother that my children trusted and knew they could turn to no matter what. I hope I have achieved some of what my mother taught me and I hope my children will forgive me for my failures as I know I have failed them. What mother does not feel she has failed her children – we want so much more for them and we inevitably fail but in my case, I really do try my absolute best to be the mother they deserve. Instinctively I know when they are having a hard time or struggling or simply in a dark place and I phone them and visit them and try to help them face what they are facing. However, I am also realistic, life is short and there will be a day when they will not have me and I hope my blog will give them something to hold onto and remember and re-live our great life we shared. This is why I started the blog and this is why I have decided I will carry on until I either have nothing left to say (no chance of that as I seem to have a lot to say even if it’s of no consequence and I also face situations that can only be described as unbelievable and out of the ordinary) or until I decide I simply have said enough.

There are so many questions I wish I had asked my mother while she was with us, so many things I wish I knew, simple day to day questions and after I left for South Africa I missed my family tremendously. After my mother passed away we had to go through my mother’s belongings, I found her box of mementoes and was able to sit there and go through them and relive memories we shared. I smiled at the fact that she had kept our school reports, our athletic certificates, special moments, letters, pictures and her most treasured box, those gifts her children made for her through the years. Two boxes that she had kept and treasured which I know she looked at when she felt she needed a boost. This helped me with the healing process after she left us with no time to be prepared – she simply went to sleep and never woke up. Her box of treasures helped me face life and get on with what was expected of me.

With this in mind, I decided that I would like my children to be a witness to my life and to things that happen while they live their lives and continue in their journey of life. I like the idea that even though they are not with me, they are aware of what is happening. I also enjoy reminiscing about their childhood as through the years memories fade and incidents become forgotten or simply they were too young to remember them. Sharing my child hood with them is also important I believe, as I know so little about my mother’s childhood. Which is ludicrous as she was my mother – but that is the cycle of life, as children we focus on our immediate surroundings and our little world and its only when we become parents are we aware of how little our children know about our childhood. Hopefully the glimpses I give my children into my childhood help them to know me as a child, a teenager, a young bride, a mother and hopefully one day a grandmother. Like a side show all jumbled up which will mean something to them and make them smile when they need a smile or help them shed their tears when they need to let go and release the pain they feel. The slide show of my life, my love, my challenges, my giggles and mostly my wonderful children who made this all worthwhile and nothing can replace the gift I was given when they entered my life.

So what if my book is never published, this is for my children.



Family Reunions and 80th Birthday

Family Reunions and 80th Birthday

Last weekend Bern and I went to Johannesburg for my Aunts 80th Birthday. I should have known by how nervous I was that this was not going to be an evening of celebrations and toasts and good food.

My nerves were in a state because I had not seen most of the guests for many years and some of them I had seen last when I was still married to my first husband 20 years ago. A lot has changed since then obviously, I love my family, and I realize that not all of them were aware of my decisions and choices and my life with Bern. A decision that has changed my life and given me a place I can call home and feel safe. Now my life changing choice has never been a secret and we have connected through face book so I would have thought they had seen the photos of Bern and I and my status, however I was nervous because I expected the inevitable questions.

We were late for the surprise party even though we left with plenty of time to get to the venue… but the traffic had other ideas and to add insult to injury there was road works on the high way bringing the traffic to one lane and to further complicate matters there was a super link truck which had overturned on the highway. This added to my nerves and my state of panic increased. My Aunt whose birthday it was is a special soft gentle person who is absolutely adorable. She had met Bern and was aware of Bern being in my life, but I think possibly she did not fully understand our commitment, and simply accepted that Bern was sharing a home with me. Bern and I made the decision not to make a big thing of it and try to explain it to her. We figured if the need to explain arouse we would explain our life together to her. This situation never arouse and we simply left it at that.

We finally arrived at the venue and Bern and I walked into the restaurant and could feel everyone’s eyes on us. I greeted everyone and I have to admit that after 20 years I did not recognize some of my cousins, which was very embarrassing. It seems everyone recognized me which I have no idea is a good thing or a bad thing. Apparently, I look like my mother so my Aunt was quite over whelmed to see me. I introduced Bern, went around the table greeting everyone, and admired the new addition to our family, my cousin is now a Grandmother and I congratulated her and her son and daughter in law and went around the table saying hello to everyone – all the while praying that I would recognize everyone. My oldest cousin asked me who Bern was, which in itself is to be expected but it was not done discreetly – I simply looked at him and told him she is my partner. So he asked the question that most people do not realize you do not ask Gay couples “Who is the husband?” I explained that in our type of relationship there is no husband. I then added for my audience “If I wanted a husband, I would simply choose a man as they had the extra appendage that I have no use for anymore. I know this may seem rude, but his question in a restaurant full of guests was rude.

I knew this was the beginning of more grilling and steadied my nerves and carried on greeting everyone. I did not recognize one of my cousins as I was 23 when I saw him last and we have both changed – so I think I can be forgiven for that lapse in my memory. Well the greetings were over and I made my way around the table until a waiter decided he needed me to make way for him. So I stepped aside – not realizing there was a row of bricks just about two inches higher that the floor and in three seconds flat after my introductions…

I tripped over the bricks, which enclosed a flowerbed. I crumbled onto the floor with such grace and elegance and hoped no one noticed as disappeared behind a pillar. More fool me, of course everyone noticed. I did not yell out in pain, although there was a lot to yell about as I landed on my knees (like in prayer) ripped my toe nail off my second smallest toe and sat there like a sack of potatoes wishing the floor would simply open up and swallow me. My cousin then asked me if I fell, I mean really what a stupid question, I looked at him and replied – no I decided to say grace all on my own – then added of course I fell, and no I have not been drinking.

When the life returned to my legs and the stars stopped flashing in my head, I stood up and looked around for Bern. She was nowhere to be seen. I asked my cousin if he knew where Bern was and this is when the questions continued. I decided this was not the time to get into the questions about my sexuality and my life and smiled and thankfully saw Bern return to the party with drinks in her hands. She deiced to avoid the borrowing eyes, go, and look for a place to buy drinks. Bern and I sat down and I turned to the Host of the party and heaved a sigh of relief – I took a sip of my drink and placed my drink back on the table – only to see my glass tipple over and spill onto his laptop.

It just could not get any worse than that so I thought. The tables were single tables joined together and this created an uneven surface and I was now shattered and beyond embarrassed. I quickly grabbed my glass but the damage had been done. It was then explained to me that the laptop actually belonged to his 12-year-old daughter and the plan had been to log on and to connect with our family worldwide who were unable to attend the party. I turned to Bern and said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear without actually shouting – “I think it is time for me to leave!” I swear I was completely lost in my thoughts of how I could escape and try not to offend the family anymore than I had already. I was already the Black sheep of the family – two divorces, now living with a woman and my social skills were limited. This was not going to be my night!

The evening progressed and to my relief I was not the only one who had not been aware of the tables being joined as this was covered by table cloths – drinks were spilled and wiped up and the dinner continued. I knew there was more questions and cross examinations coming and whenever we stopped for a smoke break in-between courses I was approached by my Cousin who being the oldest was nominated as the one who had to ask me questions. By now I decided that enough was enough - I do not ask them about their personal lives and how things work for them and basically told him that all that mattered was that I was happy and out of danger and for him to leave it at that.

In my opinion which I did not share that night -Simply put, whom I live with and whom I sleep with and what I do in my life is my business and I would never dream of asking them about their personal stuff. What gives anyone the right to ask me about my life simply because I live with a woman? Really is there a manual out there that has a list of questions people ask gay couples, and they feel that this is all right to invade my privacy and simply ask questions. They would never dream of asking their friends or work colleagues the questions I am asked. Moreover, my absolute favourite response “I have nothing against Gays!” Why label people or me – why not simply shut up. I mean really do we go to straight people and say, “I have nothing against straight couples”. These questions about when did you change, and how does it work and who is the “male” in the relationship are insulting and quite bloody pointless.


The evening was not only an inquisition it was very nerve racking. Once I calmed down and decided this was what I had expected, and to keep my wits about me and not let the questions offend me, I started to relax and enjoy the evening. It was lovely, I decided to hell with what people thought, and their perceptions, this was about my Aunt reaching the wonderful age of 80 and how lucky we were to have her in our lives and Bern and I made the best of it. The evening did however end abruptly and I had nothing to do with this. The weather turned very nasty and before we knew it, everyone was packing up and leaving as the rain poured down. Quick goodbyes were said and vague suggestions that we keep in contact as everyone dashed to their cars. I was so relieved the dinner was over. Hugged my aunt goodbye, thanked the Host and Hostess for arranging this event for my aunt, apologized once again for spilling my drink on their daughter’s laptop, and ran to the car.

I sat in the car and hid my face in my hands and repeated over and over “Why me, why me?” I cannot tell you how horrible the beginning of the evening was for me and I then showed Bern my injuries. Two bruised knees, one very tender leg where I am sure the reconstruction plate on my shin had been jolted and shifted and finally my ripped toenail and I felt very sorry for myself.

We returned to Sarah’s place where we were staying. Sarah’s little one bed roomed flat was overflowing with people who loved as for who we were and it felt like a refuge in a storm when we arrived. The house was overflowing, Sarah, her boyfriend, Caitlin and her “New” potential friend, and Shane. Quite a house full and we felt quite at home. Admittedly, Bern and I did not stay up for long and after explaining how our evening progressed, we said good night and went o bed. The journey to Johannesburg and the party had taken its toll on me I have to admit as I struggle with long distances.

We returned to Durban after a wonderful late breakfast with Bern’s sister and her mom and that was the perfect ending to a stressful weekend.

Our animals were so pleased to see us and greeted us with such excitement and love where it does not matter who you live with or what you do for a living - Home sweet home!

Reflecting on the last 10 years - Thank you Bern

The last 10 years and starting the 11th year - what a wonderful kaleidoscope of joy, love, laughter, the gift of love and harmony

Bern and I celebrated our 11th anniversary this week. This is the day that changed all our lives. Bern previously was in relationships without children. She came into a ready made family, 3 children; I was recovering from surgery and two ex husbands. One a stalker and the other a dad who did as little as he had to, to support his children. So  to say we were faced with challenges is putting it mildly.

As a family, we all had adjustments starting with the first week of my realization that I was in love with Bern. Of course the burning question was –“how do I tell my kids” then later “how do I tell my family and friends” I did not have to worry about telling my kids, Cait took care of that. It was about the 3rd day after I had asked Bern to stay with us when Cait came into my bathroom, she was 8 years old and she asked me right out. “Mom are you a lesbian?” So I replied, “well I love Bern so yes I suppose that makes me a lesbian, how you do feel about that?”

My heart was racing and I was shaking, this was a big change for me and I was aware of the impact it would have on my children. Would they bear the burden, teasing, and punishments of having a gay mom in our not so understanding world?

These thoughts were racing through my head. Cait in her 8-year-old innocence said, “That’s cool mom, we like Bern and she makes you laugh. You have stopped crying and that is good” she then rushed out the bathroom and declared in a loud voice to mat and Sarah “Yes mom is a lesbian". I did not even know she knew what that meant but Cait surprised me. When I came out the bathroom, the children bombarded us with questions and were so excited. This really surprised me and of course, we answered as best we could.

The overall acceptance of Bern and I and our decision to build a life together was initially met with disbelief. Moreover, I was cross-questioned and my family and friends were initially not so happy with the decision. "Was this a PHASE I was going through was their biggest question." However once they met Bern and saw the peace she had brought into our lives and the balance and laughter they accepted that this was my choice and even though they could not understand my decisions – they decided to welcome Bern into our family.

We have faced many challenges. The worst being the attack on our family 8 years ago which we still carry the visible scars. These are now our badges of bravery and conviction to not let the joy and love we share be destroyed by a two people who wanted to destroy us. We have overcome this and we are not victims, we are victorious and have protected ourselves since then to the best of our ability with prayer and home security.

There was one time during this episode of horror that I had to step in as a mom to protect my Caity. Obviously this effected her schooling as we had to go away to recover from the attack and her focus was not on work. She had one teacher who was particularly nasty to her and the other children. I hope it was because she was pregnant and this had made her moody but she ruled with terror. Now if there is one thing I hate in life is a bully. I lived with a bully when I married my second husband and I would not tolerate it then and I was not about to let this teacher bully my child.

I knew that the headmaster had told the teacher briefly of the attack on our family, so you would think she would be a little more supportive. This was not the case. She was an absolute mean horrid person. She failed Caity for a test, which Cait was not aware of and instead of marking her absent; she decided to make an example of her by mocking her in the class while the other children watched. We had a teachers -parents conference that week and I was so ready to challenge this teacher.

The parents had to sit in her classroom on the tiny children chairs while she bombarded and disciplined each parent that was sitting at her desk for their one on one presentation. I sat there and bristled as she belittled the parents and when the parents left her desk, you could see they felt like they had been sent to detention.

I looked around at the other parents and I overheard whispers of what a horrid teacher she was and how scared the children were of her. One mother said she had taught one of her other children and her child had experienced the worst year of her life at the hands of this teacher.

I waited for my turn with her, and when she called Mrs. Osterloh, I bristled even more and in a voice loud enough for the other parents to hear, I said, "It is not Mrs. Osterloh, it is Mrs. Gravett – I know it states that on Caitlin’s application. "I would appreciate it if you called me by my correct name. (Yes, I was ready for this bully)

I sat down at her desk facing her and she looked at the results and started to tell me how badly Caity was doing of late and that I needed to be a more involved mother. Her not having a dad was no excuse for poor work. I looked at her and said, “I think you had better shut up and listen to me. I have heard you berate every parent who has had the displeasure of facing your onslaught of meanness and it stops here.

She sat there with her mouth agape and then told me that I was there to listen and not comment. Well this was the wrong thing to say. So I let her have it.

“Do I not pay school fees which actually contribute to your salary?”

Her reply “Well I suppose in a way you do”

“If I achieved the results you do in your chosen profession – I would be fired for non achievement”

Her reply – “I beg your pardon?”

“Yes you should beg my pardon and the other parents of all the children you have ever taught – now you listen to me. Are you aware that we had a home invasion where we were attacked? ‘

“Yes, I was made aware of this” she said

Before she could jump in and try to tell me how I should have handled it I verbally attacked her.

“So you think it is alright to add further trauma to an 8 year old who saw her mother covered in blood, her step mother covered in blood and her older sister totally shattered. You felt it was necessary to add to her nightmares? She now not only dreams of these people coming into our home and attacking us, she now dreams of her hated teacher who is a bully!”

I added, “Does this make you feel powerful, does this give you a thrill?
"Are you one of those people who made it their mission to destroy innocent minds and fill them with fear? How dare you fail Caitlin for a test she was not even aware of as she was away with us on a retreat to recover from our attack?
I continued . "She walks in on the following Monday and you fail her instead of marking her absent for the test. !”
"You know Caitlin is a good worker and you decided in your absolute wisdom and power to destroy her grades with a zero when she was not aware of the test!"

I then lambasted her “I see you are expecting your child, now let me ask you, would you tolerate anyone treating this child like you treat the children in your class. Let me tell you, I am not leaving it at this, I will lodge a complaint and I am sure the parents sitting behind me will gladly sign a petition to have you removed from this position. So next time you want to yell at a child because you have had a bad day, or have a horrid marriage or are just naturally a bully, think of this day and remember there are other parents out there like me who will take you on and defeat you. There is no room in this world for teachers who teaches our children that being a bully is acceptable. It is not.”

I grabbed my handbag, stood up, and told her the meeting was over. The parents still waiting for their meeting applauded me and the teacher was in tears when I was finished. I turned to her and said; "see it is not nice being bullied is it?I resent the fact that you incited this outburst from me and as I teacher I expect more from you and you will be hearing from the Governing Body and the Education Department."

With that, Caity and I left the classroom. The head master disciplined the teacher as after my outburst the parents decided to follow my example and lodge a complaint. She did not return the following year and I have no idea where she went to after that.

Sarah had her share of being bullied by a teacher in high school. I did not become involved until she came home from school sporting a huge bruise on her leg where the teacher kicked her. Yes, he kicked her! I filed a complaint with the education department and set up a meeting with the headmaster and this 6ft 4inch teacher. The educational department had replied to my complaint and they had assured me that it would be dealt with.

In the head master’s office, I faced this giant of a bully head on. I explained to him that he was being charged with assault if I was not satisfied with the outcome. I had taken pictures of his assault on my child. I asked him if he was donkey, and how dare he kick a child. I asked him if he achieved some type of a thrill by abusing children. He sat there trembling, yes no exaggeration, trembling and tears were streaming down his face. He tried to explain his reason for bullying my child and I told him I was fully aware of what transpired and why he thought he had to kick my child. I then explained to him that if he bothered to ask my child why she lashed out at another boy in class- he would have found out that this boy has pushed my child down the stairs. Tripped her and bullied her from the first day at school. Her lashing out at this boy was after months of her being tormented and he added to this by kicking her as if she was a dog – which by the way is also unacceptable.

I told him he would apologize to my child in front of the class, and he would not teach her anymore. I told the head master that he would give Sarah the lessons she required or hire a teacher at their expense to teach her this subject and he would not even speak to her again. Before I left I did advise him that the investigation would not stop, as I would make it my mission to see him removed from the school. This teacher did leave the school, as his contract was not renewed.

He went to teach at an elite boy’s school in Johannesburg and he made the mistake of hitting a child at this school. The boys took their own revenge and he landed up in a wheel chair as they broke both his legs with a cricket bat and his arms. I have no idea if the education department was called in on this case by the parents, I do know the teacher did not press charges against the children and last I heard he does not teach anymore.

So in the last 11 years we have faced our challenges and had our battles. There has also been a lot of joy. Sarah was a prefect at her school. Caitlin excelled in her school and was awarded many certificates of achievement. Mathew was the first one to join the children’s circus and when I first saw him “eat fire” and perform for audience at a flower arrangement show, I cried in pride. Cait joined not long after that and she was the youngest trapeze artist in Africa. Sarah joined for a while and she loved the entertainment part of the circus.

We had many a weekend filled watching our children perform and they excelled in their craft. Cait hates to be reminded of her time with eh circus (sorry my angel) but she was also a winner in the Television series 30 Seconds for her performance on the trapeze. We learnt a lot and our family faced everything with our normal gusto and love of life.

That is not to say we did not have our differences in our home. We most certainly did, but 11 years later we are a family united and the bonds we have built will help us get through the next episode of our lives.

The children are now all in their own homes, Bern and I are working together in Durban and we are enjoying the experience once again. Our lives in Durban have been decorated with the antics of our animals and we are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel regarding our business venture with our company. Baby steps but we after making headway into the Durban market finally.

However, the highlight of our lives is our children and our animals. One day we will be blessed with enough money to have a place big enough to rescues animals and give them a place to find peace and love. This is a project all my children want to be pa part of and who knows – after a few lessons from the real Dog whisperer – we may just have our own whispering farm for animals. But until that day, we will settle for our little zoo, which expanded in the last week.
Ally Monster Kitty produced three ginger kittens. One girl and two boys. These little bundles will be moving to Johannesburg when they are old enough to live with our children. Ally is a wonderful mother and she demands we bring her and her children to sit with us during the day for company. She resides in our spare room at night, as she is still very vigilant about her babies and very protective.

We have a new addition to our dog family. Bustarhymes a staffi mix male was rescued by Bern off the busy street, which runs past our home. He had strayed from his home and he is waiting for his owners to contact the SPCA or the local vet to find him. He is very sweet and I hope his family is looking for him. Our pack has accepted him, although Little Boy is not impressed. We have agreed to foster him for a while to give his owners time to find him. If they do not come forward, we are still not sure what we are going to do with him. However, the vet has assured us he will not have a hard time finding a new home as he is a lovely young male and has a lovely demeanour and such a lovely brindle colouring. We are of course already in love with him and he is so gentle and kind. I hope he finds his owners as he is well trained and has been neutered and they obviously care for him as he has a collar and they way he reacts to people he must have been loved by them.

Animals – the colour and spice of our lives.

Mofo also had Bern in hysterics this week: I sent a mail to Sarah, Cait and Shane about Mofo and how she entertained Bern.


Last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bern was in a fit of giggles last night with Mofo. I should get Bern to type this, coz she thought it was so funny – she was collapsed in laughter but I will give I it a try.

Picture this………Rustle, rustle, frantic rustle, even more frantic rustle.

Next thing- this shopping packet shoots off out of the lounge.

This moving packet darts into the main bedroom -Then does a u-turn.

Packet wrapped around Mofo shoulder by handle – head sticking out

Packet darts down the passage to Kitty’s private room; does a U-turn – back down passage; Slide to a stop in our room.

Mofo is now on fast forward mode. She darts off down the passage once again!

Bern and Jinx watching this action like a live tennis match… heads moving from side to side. Mofo turns around and reaches the main room again - Mofo finally releases herself. Packet now split down the side!

Mofo was impressed – hiding behind curtain in room with Angel peeping out to see if the packet will return

Bern is totally useless, no energy – laughed herself into a peeing puddle

Jinx enthralled – memorized – hypnotized……

Me! ... Not impressed with Bern for laughing, I of course am just as much to blame as I was not quick enough to rescue Mofo from her Plastic Cape and I was watching Bern and laughing at Mofo and the dogs reactions. She tried to explain to me what she was seeing.  The sentences were not structured and every time she tried to tell me, Mofo would dart down the passage wearing the plastic bag.

She kept telling me it was funny as the tears stream down her face and she is totally exhausted after laughing so hard - and I told her it is so NOT FUNNY

Bern says my kids would see the humour in it. I said NOT FUNNY

This happened in about a minute flat at the most.

Zing up and down, rustles; rustle; rustle………. And of course, my kids think this is funny and Shane commented to me “Sorry Shell, it is funny!”

Last week this little incident happened and I had to share it with my children. Sarah had just sent me a mail about a domestic worker and her unique way of keeping the family pets entertained.

We loved this mail. RE: dedicated employee- would do anything to keep employer happy at all times

Bern responded to the mail:

I’m gonna strap Ally cat and her babies to my back. Might land up in hospital, but at least I’ll look cute for all of 3 seconds!

Sarah responded to Bern’s Mail:

Hahahahahaha Rooting for you Bern. Let me know what hospital you end up in!
My response to Bern, Sarah and Cait:

Bern is insane… her suggestion that she tries this domestic miracle is funny as hell

Strap Kitty with her babies to her back… oh my god she is not well. We can’t even pick the monsters up for long and Ally Monster Kitty  jumps out the box to give us a good talking to.

You are right Sarah it most probably started when they were small and the house cleaner needed to keep track of them and they are always sleeping and are all cuddly so they accepted it.

I bet they sit on the towel waiting for her to come and work and she dutifully picks them up and carries them.

Bern just encouraged Mofo to get into another packet just now and I warned Mofo – STEP AWAY FROM THE PACKET

And two nights ago… our alarm went off. I had a dream earlier that I opened the bedroom door and was attacked by a black shadow man thing.

So when the alarm went off I freaked out. Bern was going to open the door to see where the movement happened. Or maybe she was running away from me as I had a movement in my pants I got such a fright. So I yelled no, we wait.

The security company phoned and I told them they will have to jump the gate as we stupidly leave the bloody gate key in the Kitchen….l. note to self don’t do this,

So Bern opens the security door off our room and peaks into the lounge from outside the house. Now we are kind of Head in the room Head out the room dodging motion as if this will stop the intruders seeing us.

I then hear a thump- thump against the bedroom door.

Brave me says to Bern “Ok you run if I am attacked – I am opening the door and you scream for help!

She looks at me with eyebrow in over drive and  A are you Frikin insane look on her face, but before she can stop me, I open the door quickly. Only to see poor ginger boy goes flying down the passage.  he was trying to get into the room as he had set the alarm off!

I am still trying to calm him down. Any sudden noises and he freaks out. I think the alarm pierced his ear drums and even filling the food bowl now makes him uncomfortable… but not to worry – he has already has his revenge on me…. He let my legs know that he hates me and my feet are in shreds….. His latest trick… stalking me in the bath…. I try not to make sudden movements (lol) even those on the loo are carefully done as he is in attack mode. He takes the loo paper and runs and then kills it!

Mail response from Sarah:  Mom you are fffff funny!!!!!! Every one thinks I’m nuts laughing at my computer

 

Thank goodness, we have our children and animals as they definitely make our life interesting and add to the laughter we experience.