Hungry Lizards (Gecko)

Val and Bern were in the Kitchen preparing dinner when this torrid of water flowed down the passage into the kitchen. One minute Val was standing on dry ground and the next she was slipping and sliding in her kitchen.

She looked around to see where the water was coming from. Followed the flow backwards and saw the water rushing from under the bathroom door.

With trepidation she asked “Matt are you ok?” She heard this squeal like a girl and he ripped the door open and his face was a picture of shock, fear, and he was speechless.

He stood there almost naked with a towel almost covering his privates.

I was sitting in the lounge chatting to Bernadette’s mom when Val rushed through to grab something, I think it was a towel, but she darted off back to the kitchen with haste in her footsteps and that determined walk we tend to get when dealing with a crisis.

I shouted out at her, “What’s wrong Val; is Matt ok?” This is my normal response as you may have realized by now when Matt is in the vicinity.

Over her shoulder she mumbled, everything was fine. This was not good enough for me so I followed very quickly. She assured me everything was all right – Matt has just had an incident in the bathroom. Now my imagination went wild as I could only imagine the catastrophe that had occurred and Val and Bern we obviously trying to keep the situation calm.

I did not accept their explanation and asked Matt if he was ok, he said no he was fine but he got the fright of his life and Val and Bern were unrestrainable in their fits of laughter.

I could get nothing out of them, no explanation any sense, they were unable to start a sentence let alone finish a sentence.

Mathew then came through into the lounge and this is how he explained it.

He was sitting in the bath, having this lavish bath, soaking up the hot water and enjoying his book immensely. He was so engrossed in his book that he was sure he imagined he heard a "plop" sound in the bath.


He looked up at the ceiling of the bathroom to see if maybe a piece of plaster had fallen into the bath. No the roof was still perfectly intact. He lay there with the book in his hands for a few seconds then decided it was not his imagination and lifted the book to look in the bath.


“I lifted the book and saw this huge lizard swimming towards me with its mouth wide open swimming towards my willy with razor teeth exposed. The next thing I knew I was standing next to the bath and the bath was almost empty and the floor was covered with water.”

He shrieked like a girl on her prom night and danced around like a fairy in the bathroom as he explained it. This Lizard was after his LIZARD.

He stood there and watched this little tiny Gecko about 6cm long swim around the water and took pity on him and scooped him up rather forcefully and dropped him on the floor after watching him climb determinedly and exhausted up the side of the bath and slip right in again. Matt was mortified thinking he had killed the Lizard with the tidal wave as he jumped, leaped, shot out, screaming at the top of his voice.

The Lizard was only shocked at the size of his Lizard according to Mathew and that is why he was motionless.

As Mathew was telling the story to his eager and avid audience, he was laughing with a pitch so high as he explained he was scared and really thought his life was in danger. I lost my breath I laughed so much and so loud that Sarah and Matt both thought I was going to have a heart attack or some type of attack. I was truly paralyzed with laughter.

Bernadette’s mom was sitting there shaking with an uncontrollable thigh slapping giggles that the tears were running down her face without any sign of stopping.

Bernadette was trying to help me breathe by patting me on the back but she was as helpful as boobies on a Bull. She was weak with laughter and the slaps were serendipitous to say the least.

Sarah was thrashing around in her chair with uncontrollable disorderly laughter coming out of her mouth. Now as loud as our cheers of laughter were, Val’s laughter has the ability to ignite cheer every where she goes.

To try and describe it is next to impossible – It is a cackle, and gobble, and deep belly laugh, combined with Champagne. Very contagious and this was like a continuous wave of laughter as we were then in such a state of giggles and undisciplined laughter that I truly feared for our lives.

Lack of Oxygen would have been the killer as we could not inhale with the intense laughter that we were experiencing.

A while later, I went to the bathroom and walked on the saturated towels down the passage and in the bathroom was quite taken aback when I saw how much water a bath can hold and wondered how Matt managed to cause tidal wave as he jumped out.

Little Gecko was quite happy there by the bedroom door, his breathing had calmed down and he scooted off into Granny June’s bedroom for refuge.