The Joys of Discipline part 1

This week…. We need to rewind and start again!

I truly feel like I have not slept in ages. Our Madam Jinx is definitely on her last days and discipline is something she just does not understand. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s just a stern word when she jumps onto me while I sleep. I have quite a few scratches on my face from a misplaced paw, but I guess when you "gotta" go you "gotta" go! But every hour on the hour every night,22h00 , 23h00 ,24h00 ….. Till 4h50 when my alarm goes off is not fun.

No wonder I am growling at my children on Skype and been a “meanie” to my friends and to Bernadette, but I also used this opportunity to tell certain people who phone at 4.00am to advise of vehicles arriving at the depot 2 hours early exactly what I think of them… so some good has come out of my disciplinarian streak. The conversation went something like this

“If you ever and I mean ever phone at 4.00am to advise the truck is two hours early, so help me $%# I will come in and I will knock 10 kinds of #$%& out of you….(pause for effect) Do you understand me?” and I walked off clicking on my high heels and I am sure I looked quite a sight 5ft 2inch of me talking up to a 7ft brute of a man who would kill me with one swat of his bear like hands! Wow I must have intimidated him.

Which reminds me of a time when my angel Sarah had really annoyed me, we were at friends house and I had just about had enough with her. She went through a stage where she was grounded for 6 months on and off. She would just finish her grounding and would commit some crime and I would ground her again. Like the time when she was prefect in Junior School and told her Teacher to politely #$ Off, well that was fun.

I duly disciplined her and there was no pointing grounding her as she was already grounded. She would give me this pre-teenager look and scowl and roll her eyes at me which Meant.- “Are you quite finished yet?” I have better things to do with my life than listen to your incessant jabber and warbles!” Yes those days were fun.

Now this one time, I sent her to the bathroom to admonish her and as I was talking to her and chastising her, I realized I think for the first time just how much taller she was than me and I was not having any effect as she had this little grin on the side of her face and was trying very hard not to laugh at me. So I decided it would be more intimidating if I stood on the raised step of the shower to tower over her. Imagine it if you can. Me standing there waiving my finger with such determination, trying to balance on this step of the shower and Sarah watching me and trembling. Trembling with contained laughter not fear!

I was suitably offended and told her not to laugh at me and stepped off the shower step not very stably and slammed the door behind me, which was so effective…. Not. It had one of those door hinges with a hydraulic type of connection so it closes slowly. So much for instilling discipline in my family.

Discipline;
Let’s go back what 40 years. Or further as I have heard of the ways parents disciplined our parents

Castor oil in the mouth if you swore. Well this is just disgusting and I can only imagine that I would have had that taste in my mouth so often I would have thought it was a mouth wash. Not to mention my children, I would have had to stock on a full cupboard full. (I believe in free speech, but sometimes NOT SO MUCH)

Epsom Salts: If a child was cranky they were given Epsom Salts to assist with clearing the stomach. Have you ever tried to get a child to drink or take a tablet they absolutely refuse to take? Your reward for this will be projectile spewing of whatever they have in their mouth followed by more unmentionable liquid.

I admire the parents of days gone by they must have had tremendous power over their children

Children must be Seen and Not Heard: This was my Dad’s favourite saying, one that annoyed me tremendously as my friends were allowed to sit with adults and Bain and I were sent to GO PLAY OUTSIDE,

“what dad, in the traffic?", was often what I thought -”It’s raining you moron!", I would mumble to myself and sulk, but not so they would see me sulking as this was sure to be followed with the most ridiculous statement ever designed by parents.

“DO YOU WANT A HIDING?” Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous, "Oh yes please Dad, I haven’t had my daily quota of hiding - Oh Please may I go first! And please may I have Bain’s share as well? Dad this is my favourite part of child hood Dad oh please oh please oh please."


Now here is the ironic thing….. I said exactly the same thing to my children and when I heard myself saying it I cringed inside but now release when you become a parent you actually loose Brain Cells and turn into a blithering Moron.

In hind sight and with the troubles of today’s children (Another thing my parents used to say with seriousness – The children of Today… blah blah, and in my day Blah blah!”) I do think we made a mistake in the way we handle our children, when it comes to instilling discipline. A talking to does not have the effect that a smack had with me as I know I tuned out and would watch their mouths move and think to myself as Sarah did that Day. Oh get it over with already!

However I knew not to step over the boundaries as I knew the penalty would be a smack or three on the behind and timeout in the bedroom. I still cringe at the humiliation of having to bend over for a smack - And that thing my parents said "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you" Oh please, I used to think, let me have a go at your bottom with a belt and lets see who it really hurts!

"Spare the Rod and Spoil the child" theory and I admit I have administered the smack on the bottom when my children were younger, and hope they will not be permanently scarred.

The children today get off lightly. You ground them; send them to their rooms for time out….. To their rooms where all their toys are, their play stations, their DVD games or Movies. I wish I could be sent to my room for time out!

I thank my lucky stars that my parents believed in Discipline and Respect and even though I cringe at some of the memories, I knew what my boundaries were and what was expected of me, I only hope I passed a little of this on to my children as I used a much softer approach.

However the one lesson I have learnt, children and animals do not respond to my stern voice… no they all laugh at me and do exactly what they want! I need to work on my pitch I think!