It is our 10th Year Anniversary today and this was Bern’s Introduction to my Family
Bern offered to come and assist me with my children 10 years ago as I had just had surgery which required me to be quiet and not active for 6 weeks. We were work friends and through the times at work we had become close friends.
There was one time however when she caught me totally off guard. I was leaning over Shaun’s desk in my short skirt and was looking at some rates we were putting together for a client. I was aware of Bern’s personal life and that she had recently ended her long term relationship with her girlfriend. Her sexual orientation (sounds so silly now to say that) was quite natural to me however one tends to forget (which is how it should be!)
I was so engrossed in my discussion with Shaun when out of the blue I heard this “Nice View!” I nearly climbed onto Shaun’s lap in surprise! I turned around to her and said "Nice one Bern, warn me next time".
We still laugh about this today. Months later I was diagnosed with tumours that had to be removed and this would require a full hysterectomy. I was in a panic as there was no one I could ask to assist me with my children who we still in junior school. My second ex-husband who had had been divorced from for several years was still in the picture but I knew he was not a reliable step in parent.
We were having coffee as we did every morning with the sales team and the Customer Services Team when Bern asked me what was troubling me. I declined to answer as I felt this was not the forum for a discussion about my personal life. I received an internal phone call from her desk and she was insistent so I explained the situation to her and said I would have to postpone my operation.
Bern refused to let that happen and offered to come and be of assistance. I am sure she often feels like she was staring in the movie the Matrix where you get offered two pills to take, the blue one takes you back to your quiet world unaware of the going ons on the real world. The red pill opened up a brand new world with difficulties and challenges.
The first night was a night of events. I had arrived from the hospital and was in bed when Bern arrived. The children let her in and she greeted them guitar in hand. The children were excited to have a visitor, and I heard the mumblings from the kitchen.
Bern told the children that she “Was going to cook up a Storm” this excited my children and they got stuck into dinner. The laughter that filled the kitchen filled my heart with joy and peace, something I had not felt in years. Sarah was 12, Matt 10 and Cait 8.
Dinner time was over and then bed time and the house was silent. I was feeling really ill and had a fever; however I did try to converse with Bern and find out what had happened in her day. We chatted for a few hours and I fell asleep.
I was woken by shouts and the worst type of profanities followed by further threats by my gate and instinctively I got up when there was banging on my back door. My ex-husband decided that this was the opportune time to visit and cause trouble as only he knew how to do.
I ripped the back door open, grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him inside, told him that if he did not behave I would call the Security and then pushed him out the door with such intense strength. He fell out the door and looked up at me in surprise. I was even more surprised at how I managed to push this large man out my house. Although to be honest a man swaying in the breeze is no match for a mother who is protecting her children
I closed the door behind me and only then realized that I had damaged myself with the speed I had leapt out of bed.
I slowly stumbled back to bed and was serenaded by this screaming drunk at my gate. Bern wanted to go out and speak to him but I knew this would only make matters worse. The best way to handle idiots like this is to ignore them.
The following day Bern took the children to school and they walked home as we lived reasonably close to the school. Bern arrived after 18h00 and started dinner. Cait was ill with sun stroke and was burning up. I was unable to assist like I would have liked to.
We still laugh about this today. Months later I was diagnosed with tumours that had to be removed and this would require a full hysterectomy. I was in a panic as there was no one I could ask to assist me with my children who we still in junior school. My second ex-husband who had had been divorced from for several years was still in the picture but I knew he was not a reliable step in parent.
We were having coffee as we did every morning with the sales team and the Customer Services Team when Bern asked me what was troubling me. I declined to answer as I felt this was not the forum for a discussion about my personal life. I received an internal phone call from her desk and she was insistent so I explained the situation to her and said I would have to postpone my operation.
Bern refused to let that happen and offered to come and be of assistance. I am sure she often feels like she was staring in the movie the Matrix where you get offered two pills to take, the blue one takes you back to your quiet world unaware of the going ons on the real world. The red pill opened up a brand new world with difficulties and challenges.
The first night was a night of events. I had arrived from the hospital and was in bed when Bern arrived. The children let her in and she greeted them guitar in hand. The children were excited to have a visitor, and I heard the mumblings from the kitchen.
Bern told the children that she “Was going to cook up a Storm” this excited my children and they got stuck into dinner. The laughter that filled the kitchen filled my heart with joy and peace, something I had not felt in years. Sarah was 12, Matt 10 and Cait 8.
Dinner time was over and then bed time and the house was silent. I was feeling really ill and had a fever; however I did try to converse with Bern and find out what had happened in her day. We chatted for a few hours and I fell asleep.
I was woken by shouts and the worst type of profanities followed by further threats by my gate and instinctively I got up when there was banging on my back door. My ex-husband decided that this was the opportune time to visit and cause trouble as only he knew how to do.
I ripped the back door open, grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him inside, told him that if he did not behave I would call the Security and then pushed him out the door with such intense strength. He fell out the door and looked up at me in surprise. I was even more surprised at how I managed to push this large man out my house. Although to be honest a man swaying in the breeze is no match for a mother who is protecting her children
I closed the door behind me and only then realized that I had damaged myself with the speed I had leapt out of bed.
I slowly stumbled back to bed and was serenaded by this screaming drunk at my gate. Bern wanted to go out and speak to him but I knew this would only make matters worse. The best way to handle idiots like this is to ignore them.
The following day Bern took the children to school and they walked home as we lived reasonably close to the school. Bern arrived after 18h00 and started dinner. Cait was ill with sun stroke and was burning up. I was unable to assist like I would have liked to.
Bern took over and set up a bed on the floor for Cait and Cait proceeded to throw up everywhere. Poor Bern, her second night she was now a nurse and the first night she had to be on guard for the invader of the idiot drunkard. She dutifully cleaned up the mess; brought more buckets as my poor Cait struggled through the night. Bern brought wet towels to break her fever and stayed up all night with her.
She dutifully went to work the next day and I am sure she sat her desk thinking that she was not so bright after all offering to come and assist this mad friend of hers.
Bern arrived home at her normal time and did the “mother” thing. She prepared dinner, made sure the children bathed. Then she brought out her guitar and sang so beautifully to my children while I slept in a state of fever. I had not told her I was not feeling well as I did not want to disrupt her more than she already had been. For the third night in a row I was unable to eat, the effects of the operation were taking its toll on me.
It must have been the early hours of the morning when I found myself freezing and very hungry. I was hallucinating about Treacle Tunnels and Rice Crispies. I decided I needed to find the Treacle Tunnel to climb into for warmth and Rice Crispies sounded like a good idea for a meal as I knew they would not hurt my stomach!!
I toddled off down the passage in search of this Treacle Tunnel when a wave of nausea hit me and I tried to run, skip, hobble to the toilet.
I heard this voice in my state of hallucination “Where you going?” To which I replied “I am looking for the Treacle Tunnel of warmth and Rice Crispies are chasing me.
As Bern describes it, she stood back and said to herself “Oh OK, now what the hell do I do, Michelle has clearly lost it!”
She dutifully went to work the next day and I am sure she sat her desk thinking that she was not so bright after all offering to come and assist this mad friend of hers.
Bern arrived home at her normal time and did the “mother” thing. She prepared dinner, made sure the children bathed. Then she brought out her guitar and sang so beautifully to my children while I slept in a state of fever. I had not told her I was not feeling well as I did not want to disrupt her more than she already had been. For the third night in a row I was unable to eat, the effects of the operation were taking its toll on me.
It must have been the early hours of the morning when I found myself freezing and very hungry. I was hallucinating about Treacle Tunnels and Rice Crispies. I decided I needed to find the Treacle Tunnel to climb into for warmth and Rice Crispies sounded like a good idea for a meal as I knew they would not hurt my stomach!!
I toddled off down the passage in search of this Treacle Tunnel when a wave of nausea hit me and I tried to run, skip, hobble to the toilet.
I heard this voice in my state of hallucination “Where you going?” To which I replied “I am looking for the Treacle Tunnel of warmth and Rice Crispies are chasing me.
As Bern describes it, she stood back and said to herself “Oh OK, now what the hell do I do, Michelle has clearly lost it!”
She tried to turn me around in the passage but I managed to tell her that I was going to be sick. Which was followed very closely by me being sick in the passage and the toilet and then she sat there with me holding my hair back and rubbing my back until the sun came up.
Three nights in a row! It is a wonder she ever came back the following night. Quite an introduction to motherhood for Bern!
Three nights in a row! It is a wonder she ever came back the following night. Quite an introduction to motherhood for Bern!
Attack of the Drunk
Cait with Sunstroke
Rice crispies chasing Me!
I am eternally grateful to Bern for not running for her life as most sane people would have!
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