We have a new member of Staff - Bern's Operations Assistant

Bern came into the bedroom to tell me that Tabby nearly landed up going to Tongaat with one of our drivers – second time this week.

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 She seems to favour the one driver Eugene as earlier this week she climbed into the back of the bakkie when he was on his way to Umhlanga. She climbs into the back of the bakkie with all the boxes and explores and the driver is not aware of this. As he was pulling out the driveway – Lunga our other driver spotted these ears and eyes peeping over the boxes and quickly told the driver to stop.

I can just imagine his face when he either looked in his review mirror to see this frantic cat tap dancing on the boxes; or when he arrived at the client to deliver their freight and this cat jumped out at him – admonishing him for his driving skills.

My mail I sent to Cheryl my boss today after Tabby decided she was going on a round trip

Miss Tabby O’Really has joined ACT World Wide Couriers Durban

Position: Operations assistant

Date of appointment: 1st September

Job Description

1. Check the off loading of the freight

2. Count the freight to make sure the manifest is correct

3. Sniffer Cat – very important as we may be moving contraband

4. Check the parcels onto the vehicles

5. Count the parcels as they are loaded onto the vehicles

6. Vehicle Inspector – tyres are important but the interior even more so. The bakkies need to be spotless and untidiness will not be accepted

7. Assistant to driver – especially likes going to Tongaat and Umhlanga – we have had to explain to her that it is not necessary for her to accompany the freight. All we see are her little ears peeping over the freight

8. Guard Cat – keeps watch at gate on her red chair – every now and then she patrols the area

9. Lap Top technician – on standby for the next visit from Cheryl


10. Keyboard technician – loves practicing her version of the River Dance on the key boards


11. Filing Clerk – not satisfied with how the files are stored and insists on doing an inventory by snaking through them


12. Bath water temperature inspector – insists on drinking the bath water daily while perched on her slaves leg.

13. Hygiene Inspector – the desks and chairs need inspecting on a regular basis

14. Telephone technician – the phone is ringing she runs to the phone


15. Town Caller – the phone is ringing – or – Ginger Boy has stolen my salary (her toy)

16. Beautician and Physio therapist on site – you need to be cleaned and occasionally massaged with the new acupuncture technique on the market


17. Psychic – she knows when you are not at your desk and find you in the ladies or kitchen and demands to know why you are not at your desk working

Basic Salary:

2 bags of Cat pebbles

12 tins of caviar

Entertainment Allowance:

Furry mouse toys; feathers, twinkly soft balls, ACT Staff Members

Transport Allowance: Two bakkies at her disposal

Clothing allowance:

Mink Coat to rest her weary body on after the morning duties

Special Allowance:

A visit from her Favourite Boss more than once every 3 months

Slaves:

Two resident slaves and two drivers

Address: Paradise House in Pine town

Next of Kin: Monster Cat, Ginger boy, Angel, Mofo

Care providers: Bern and Michelle

Guard Dogs: Fiona, Jinx and Little Boy

Secret Admirer: Cheryl

Identity Document: Attached

Please make her feel welcome and her special request is can you handle her Orientation Personally and explain the operational Procedures

Cheryl’s reply to my rather silly email….

Oh my goodness, what a FANTASTIC lovely way to start the day.

You have to print that out and put it up in a frame with her picture on the wall.

It’s totally classic

THANK YOU

Thank goodness we have our animals to colour our lives  and add giggles.