"PRANK CALLS" and NEW BUSINESS

There I thought it was a Prank Call.

I mentioned earlier that I was approached by a client to ship silk worms. As expected, this opened up a lot on email banter from my colleagues.


Here are a few of them!


Worms fried in butter with garlic.


Bern says if the worms die, we can sell it as a snack “crunch a bunch”


Jokes aside, it’s good business and needs a lot of care and attention.


These little crickers are alive and deserve to be treated with respect


We will do everything we can from our side to ensure that your babies get the best care.


Well done as long as we don’t send the goods snail mail


Poor little bug...gers. Hope they don’t get turned upside down too often!


Will look after the little critters for you as best we can.

This new market has really opened my eyes to the possibilities of new business and as well as introducing me to interesting people.


Like most people I have never given a thought to how the Bearded Dragons, reptile pets, furry rodent pets are fed or what they eat. Well there are people out there who have a love of the cold slippery and long creatures or the furry monsters.


There is more to simply picking up the consignment and delivering it to the final destination. You have to make allowances for ventilation, food, and ensure they do not become squished while in transit. No wonder I have received so many funny responses. Now we are going to venture in transporting snakes and fish and lizards. I ask you, anyone who knows me, can you see me becoming involved with snakes in any form, design or matter. I am sitting here already getting the hibby jeebies at the thought that there will be snakes in our premises. However, on the upside, I very much doubt that our vehicles will be hijacked or anyone will be tempted to come into the house.


I am helping a client come up with a unique name for handling the freight side of his business. Bern came up with the perfect one.


“We supply the Bugs and the Critters that eat them.



“Move a Bug “or “Bugs on wheels” get it meals on wheels!



“The roach coach”



“The bug mobile”



What surprised me the most besides everyone’s sense of humour, which I have to say, is enlightening. (I now have proof they actually read my mails) is the need for this service. Most freight carriers will not become involved in a project of this type or magnitude. Who knows, we may very well have our own BUG Division specializing in this and all this because of a phone call that I thought was a prank…. Durban may just be one of the branches to be proud of. I sent my boss a mail describing the client’s needs and questions.



My boss’s response to me about transporting snakes etc…

We are going to have to investigate snakes and kak reptiles like that from a permit point of view. At least she did not say NO.”


I was trying to do a search for more clients who may require this service and believe me when I tell you – this is not simple. Type in Silk worms and you find sites about silk woven garments.

Reptile Food suppliers and there is nothing on the web.


I tried insects and of course, I received exterminator details… NO I want to know who supplies the insects not exterminate them.

I tried a full sentence (what do I know about the search function) I would like to find out who supplies silk worms and food for reptiles. Understandably, this had no search results. After hours of trying by using Pets food as a search function, I now know where to get Dog food and Horse Feed and live stock feed but still nothing about our little creatures we feed our reptile pets.


Horrors of horrors I have to go and learn about how to package a snake for transporting… I think I will ask for a manual and Bern can attend the classes. I will be sitting there with my eyes closed and hand over my mouth so I do not shriek and will disturb the class. No thanks, this lesson I choose to miss.

This is my phobia; we all have our own phobias and deal with them in our own ways. Some people face their fears. I have a fear of snakes and glass elevators and heights. The other day without thinking (which I seem to do on a regular basis) – I followed Bern into the lift and the doors closed before I realized that I was in a glass elevator. I nearly collapsed onto the floor – hugging it and screaming like a mad woman. There were children in the lift so I simply held my breath, closed my eyes and held onto Bern for dear life…. Thank goodness, it was only two floors. Now I hear you saying why the elevator when lifts and escalators are available…. Simple we had a trolley full of our purchases and shopping malls object to you putting a trolley on an escalator and stairs just do not allow for a trolley.


I think the fact that you may kill someone as you let go of the trolley as it becomes very heavy as you lift it up the stairs - and then running after it like a mad person is not the issue here - what you are trying to retrieve from the trolley is the all-important issue. You are not doing this to save the people you are plowing over – No, you are doing all this to retrieve your perfect pair of shoes you have just bought. Never mind the dogs food and cat food you have just bought that is heavy enough to wipe out an army – no it’s the perfect pair of shoes and someone will steal it. So you scramble over the injured bodies, shout at them for being in the way, run after your “runaway” trolley and finally as it hits the floor at a speed.


This now resembles and action movie - people run screaming and you are intent on catching the trolley. The trolley rushes towards the glass barrier panels that prevent you from falling down to the bottom floors, only to see your shoes fly into the air and then you watch them disappear into a water feature they have at all these shopping malls! Great now the shoes are ruined.


The trip in the glass elevator was sheer hell for me and as the doors pinged open, I pushed everyone out of my way – if there were any old people; I apologize for my behaviour. I shouted hooray and nearly kissed the floor until I remembered how dirty the floors were and how many people have walked across it and whooped a yell of pure victory.


I was in a glass elevator and survived. My fear of heights is the reason I find these things so intimidating. My fear is quite debilitating, I could never live in a block of flats on the top floors. I would never venture out onto the balcony or into the glass elevators so you can see the magnificent view. A double storey house or three stories and I am ok. I know it is illogical, but that is what phobias are. There are times when I am on ladder or even a chair while trying to look inside a cupboard that I feel vertigo creeping on me. I do try to overcome it but I am sure the blood draining from my face is a dead giveaway.

Last night, we had to bring in boxes of dried meat, which were not delivered yesterday. This was not a big deal, tiring but not a big deal…. However, I had to stand on a freight pallet to reach the boxes that Bern had piled up so high. She clearly thinks giants were going to off load the boxes. In addition, she seemed to pack them there with such ease. I was standing on the tips of my toes on this pallet, which is perhaps 15cm off the floor, and even this made me feel a little unstable.


I then had to throw the boxes to her in the house to pack inside to secure the dried meat. Now my ball sense is as good as my sense of direction. I had Bern flying through the air typical rugby move to catch what I was throwing at her. It’s a miracle that I did not take out any windows or kill any cats who were watching this exercise with total fascination. We moved about two tons of freight volumetrically that is. I was so intent on picking up the boxes and throwing then until one box was a little heavier. It must have weighed about 5kgs and in my defense, my arms were tired. I picked it up and threw it, but the momentum was stopped by the unexpected weight and I kind of rolled it to Bern.


After that, I simply handed Bern the heavier boxes. I was not going to pull a muscle or be responsible for dried meat being splattered everywhere. The dogs would have had a field day and it would have cost us a fortune to replace them.

Our cats have been very good with this tempting treat and every time I see the dogs, I offer them a treat. So far so good- no causalities – however I was tempted last night but did not give in to it. Lol


Today has been an interesting and busy day, it started at 1.00am this morning when the long distance driver arrived to fetch our Garmin and off he went. Then at 6h00 Bern received a phone call to advise her that one of our bakkies had broken down on the way back to the office. Great start to our day. We had one vehicle to do the deliveries and 2 tons of freight in our lounge needing to be delivered today. The phone calls started and Bern rushed off to meet the mechanic who was helping with the break down and I was answering three phones. Thank goodness, Bern took her cell phones or else I would have been in trouble. Bern handles stress a lot better than I do. She swears and tells the person before she answers it to ### and then answers it sweetly. I on the other hand am infected with a need to answer the phone and then tell the person to ###, however I resisted this urge today as all three phones were ringing constantly, and explained to EVERY CALLER that Bern was not here and could I possibly help them.


They responded that they did not believe I could and they would try her on her cell phone. Good one – how to make me feel really important. Then the collections started. Now we are one bakkie short, the 8-tonner vehicle was not in Durban today and the company that decided not to send their 8 tonner to handle their collections placed 14 collections by 8.01. I telephoned them and asked them how they would like me to do the collections and deliveries… “On a bicycle as I had no large vehicle and one of my bakkies was off the road.” Their solution …. Use the bakkie you have. Come on people it only holds 1 ton of freight at a push. I did not tell them to ###; I simply told them to hire a bakkie or give their work for today to someone else. The end result, we still have two tons of dried biltong sitting in our lounge.


I only hope that I resist the temptation to help myself tonight…. Only kidding, I would never eat these plastic tasting versions or dry wors (sausage) or Biltong (beef jerky) – even my hunger or cravings have limits.


All this talk about cravings and muchines : best I go and grab an apple as I do not have the energy to go and buy an ice-cream which is exactly what I need right now. Maybe an apple will help with the headache I have developed with all the computer work I have done today.


There is one bright light in my day. Sarah wants to buy me a puppy for my birthday. Now I am not a big birthday celebrator – yes, I love presents and the birthday wishes and I have no problem being a year older. I have accepted that one cannot stop the hands of time, although Chuck Norris seems to have found a way to do that, no I am not comfortable being the centre of attention. Sarah has found a lab cross husky puppy for me and I have named her already. Lady Godiva. She says its sounds like a dead body. So yeah, maybe not…. Does sound a little like a cadaver. I will have to wait to meet this little bundle, which will not stay little and let her choose her name. For now, she will be called poppet or moppet. Can you imagine if the sausage dog that was offered to Bern also joins the family, I will need to find a new source of income as they will take over the home and Bern and I will need to buy a new bed for us as the cats already own the bed, the chairs, the whole house truth be told.


The dogs are my shadow and I sit at my desk with them under my feet and land up typing sideways so I do not disturb them. I move the screen and key board to give them room.

Mother Kitty is on her last days and she demands attention in the form of food. Every time she sees Bern or I she screams for more food! If her kids come near her, she really lets them know they are not welcome. Bern and I are on night duty and we check up on her as she now has her own private room in the house. Her mood swings with her children has resulted in her moving out of our room and into the spare room we use for Bern’s mom. Monster Kitty demands massages, loves, and food, typical of any pregnant mother. It is so cute and if she had not been so quick to fall pregnant we would have had her fixed. Cats are sneaky that way; they fall pregnant while they are still suckling. So we are in for tiny furry bundles taking over our room and eventually house until we find homes for them. Yes this time I will find homes for them. I have to be strong! I will be strong. I will deny my inner child and I will be strong.



Now this inner child has decided it’s time to make coffee, watch some Television, and give my dogs another treat. Surprisingly enough the phones have been dead quiet tonight. Hopefully this carries on until 8h00 tomorrow! Even I need a break!