Christmas in our home

I am sure that everyone is saying it’s not Christmas Time Yet as they walk through the malls and supermarkets, but the Christmas decorations and Christmas gifts are out on display already. It’s very hard to believe that Christmas is literally around the corner.

That time of the year when people lose their direction and make stupid decisions and tend to try to over compensate for the time we have not been able to spend with our family and friends. It is also a time of great joy and kindness and peace and of course those memories we treasure and can rely on to get us through a tough day or a tough situation.

I clearly need those as my life to say the least is very complicated and stressful on the best of days.


A few years back we had the family Bern’s Christmas and these get together are particularly hard on me as I miss my family terribly. I tend to get myself so worked up and begin to stress and by the time we arrive there I have withdrawn into my shell. This particular year I decided that I would not let my feelings of isolation from my family interfere in the festivities.

As a family we decided to go that extra mile and create a very Christmassy atmosphere.

We went to the Fancy Dress Hire shop and chose our outfits. The children had no idea what we had planned but this did not deter Bern and I from our decision. Bern’s sister was with us and we pranced around the shop in our chosen outfits and acted as if we were walking the CAT WALK in our ridiculous outfits.

We arrived home with enough time to do the 6 weekly hair maintenance. The high light kits, the hair dye colouring, and the faithful bottle of wine was brought into the kitchen.

We opened the wine and the girls were on hand to hold the peroxide and tin foil strips, Bern was busy colouring our hair and adding the peroxide as she has done for many years.

My nerves were shot and believe it or not (your choice totally) I am not a big drinker but at times like this a little bit of Dutch courage is required. We drank our wine, had the music pumping in the back ground, dancing around the kitchen in preparation for the evening festivities. This is when I have a brain wave. I looked up at Bern with that look of absolute determination and mischief.

I make her, NO I force her to sit down and tell her she cannot say NO. She looks at me with that look of fear in her eyes, her expression is one of; OH NOW WHAT NOW?" as she now knows that look of mischief in my eyes and knows there is no point in arguing.

I grab the peroxide that is left over and run it right through her hair. Not small highlights no, I comb it through her very blue black hair and put a plastic bag on her head to make the chemicals activate faster. We then all sit back and wait. A few more glasses of wine are consumed. We giggle and reminisce about the past years. Cait and Sarah and Matt are contributing their stories and Sarah decides to come share one of her memories of Bern in the beginning of our relationship.

She was thirteen and going through the typical rebellious stage. I had just moaned at her for some arbitrary offense, I can’t even remember what it was. She looked at me and called me a B@#, well Bern walked up to her and flicked her on the mouth with her fingers and said “Don’t speak to your mother that way!” The sheer look of horror on her face was priceless.

It is not that the flick hurt her; she just didn’t expect anyone to hear her swear words that she whispered in frustration at me. We have all done this behind our parents back and my sweet mother used to say as I was walking away after a ticking off, and don't you call me those names. I used to think she had some type of mental telepathy - little did I know that she had done exactly the same thing to her mother when she was growing up.

Oh the benefits of age, we have all been there and done that and burnt the T-Shirt!

I tried to hide my giggle but I saw the look on both Bern’s face and Sarah’s face and burst out laughing. That was the end of the tension and we all joined in giggling. Sarah said she would definitely think twice before she swore at me again, she would make sure the coast was clear.

Back to our preparations for the Christmas dinner in our large kitchen. It was now time to rinse the peroxide off Bern’s hair. She dutifully followed me to the bathroom where I used the extension shower head on her head but landed up saturating her with the water and I am sure half drowned her.

I was leaning over her and the shower head was aimed at her head most of the time but as I said earlier, the little bit of wine I had already consumed did not help my sense of directional spray and Bern was spluttering and wiping her face as the water cascaded down her shirt front and back. Perfect if she was entering the wet T- Shirt competition we seem to have so often in my past escapades with rinsing hair for my girls or Bern.

I really need to learn how to do this still without drenching them and the floor.

The peroxide was rinsed out but I was unable to go any further, I had lost my ability to do anything at all. I was doubled over in fits of giggles and laughter which I just could not control.

My composure was gone totally. My Bern now had the most beautiful and bright and totally orange head of hair.

Who knew that black hair when bleached turned into this beautiful Orange colour? And I don’t mean that lovely red colour of natural red heads. Orange like the fruit.

I crawled out the bathroom as I had lost the ability to walk or talk coherently. I must have looked a sight as I crawled into the kitchen and Bern followed behind me a few minutes later with this huge towel wrapped around her head.

Everyone was waiting for the big unveiling. As only Bern can do she did this with added exaggeration and swayed her hips as if she was on stage doing the rendition of Patricia the Stripper as she seductively pulled the towel off her head.

We were met with this beautiful almost luminous bright orange head of hair. This was too much for all of us. We had not consumed that much to drink and my children had not had anything to drink at all, but the way we were behaving at Bern’s unveiling - a person would have sworn we were totally insane or very very drunk.

Every time I tried to talk to her, I could not finish a sentence, I could not focus, I lost all sense of sentence structure and my loss of forming a full sentence only made the situation funnier.

Bern stood there and asked us what was so funny, she flicked back her hair and pretended to be most offended and waltzed off to the head of the table and sat down as if nothing was wrong or totally hysterical about her sitting there with her bright orange hair and drenched T-Shirt looking like a drown Ginger CAT.

Well I realized there was no ways I could let Bern’s mother see what I had done to her daughter as I feared she would write me out of her will again as she often does when I do something silly.

As only Bern’s mom can threaten in her sweet angelic way and has the ability to make you feel as small as she has not got a mean bone in her body - and she knows full well there is nothing to inherit!!!

Bern was quite prepared to leave the damages on display as she loves a good joke even if it is at her expense. But that was not to be, I rushed off to the shops and bought blue black hair dye and fixed my little experiment. All the while laughing so hard, I managed to dye her ears, her neck her forehead and the kitchen floor. Hair dressing is obviously not my calling in life.

The festivities did not end there; we dressed up in our outfits, climbed into the car and drove to the Family Christmas.

We walked into the family room to applause and laughter as they saw what we were wearing.

Bern was Father Christmas in her full Christmas suite, fake beard, big belt, wire glasses and boots, I was Mary Christmas, in a blue Christmas dress with black stockings and boots, the dress was quite short and above the knees. Quite a sexy Mary Christmas I was with all the ravages of time hopefully hidden by the stockings!

My children wore PIXIE outfits. Fully fitted out in tight, tight leggings which left nothing to the imagination for my very tall Matt as it clung so fetchingly to his long skinny legs, Pixie Hats and Pixie shoes toes all curled up and tunic tops. Bright Yellow and Bright Green and Bright Orange short tunic tops that reached to just below the waist.

Bern’s sister went as Cleopatra just to had spice to our dress up party.

Oh the photos from that Christmas tell their own story and I will be forever grateful to my children for joining in, and getting into the spirit of Christmas.

That Christmas was not so stressful and for once I managed to enjoy my evening without the longing for my family.