After a night out with the girls

Last year after a Friday night out with the girls.
Picture this.. Me still a little under the weather and under the influence as I have only just fallen asleep. In total I have had maybe three hours sleep.

I am awoken by my white Alsatian and Jacques Russel because they want to be fed. And they are quite insistent. Walk down the passage unintentionally growl hello to my daughter, realize I have turned into an Alien in a voice I don’t even recognize.

Search for head ache pills…. Search for something to hold on to as the house is suddenly Alive with aliens as the walls and counters are moving!

Trip over the cat! I am now suddenly airborne. Gingerly pull myself up against the counter

Can’t remember why I am in the kitchen – clutching the counter… be reminded by pounding head and now pounding toe that I need pills.

Down the pills with a pitcher of water……………..

Am now ready for a wet t-shirt competition…. Missed my mouth! T Shirt drenched. Body parts are suddenly very perky.

OK so now have a sore head sore toe. Room still spinning, cold wet T-shirt. Feel like I ate a dead cat….. Check to see if I did not kill my cat when he tripped me.

I am standing there confused and feel a breeze and realize Oh My Goodness…I am not wearing any sleeper shorts…. Half naked in the kitchen. I hear our lodger stir in his room. Mad panic hits me. Freeze, then pull T-shirt down. Now have a revealing cleavage…. Not good… Look a sight as only a lady of my age can look with the not so firm body.

Cross legged, T-Shirt pulled down I back out of the open plan kitchen..., it then dawns on me that I greeted my daughter like this. Oh Horrors.

I am now ready to win wet T-shirt Granny completion and I still have no idea why
1. I got up
2. Why I have no knickers on
3. Wonder if I got lucky last night …. Nope

Still no idea why I am in the kitchen – stumble back to the room. Strip off the wet T-shirt climb into bed quite confused at the whole idea.
The Mr. Jacques Russell jumps onto my tender stomach …ah light dawns on inebriated (drunk) head…
Kill dogs…. I Mean feed Dogs.