Distribution Challenges and Fun and Games

Last week was a week of making plans and sorting out our freight and there was a considerable amount of pulling rabbits from our hats to make the deadlines.

In true Bern style, she took this in her stride. Every time the boss form Cape Town phoned her for an update he asked her “Do you miss me Bern?” to which she replied, “How can I miss you if you do not go away?’ Then ten minutes later he would phone her again for a further update and ask her if she missed him yet?” At 5h30 the following morning she decided to show him just how much she missed him and gave him a wake up phone call. She had arrived at the airport to sort the freight, pick, and pack the orders only to find that they had all been placed, loosely in the equivalent of black dustbin bags.

Thousands of scratch cards, cell phone socks, and millions of 30 gram butter sachets. There she was sitting in the car park of the airport sorting through freight and this is when she phoned Erich. He telephoned her back at a more reasonable hour and asked her if she is missing him yet? She responded, “I am having a serious sense of humour failure here! So, yes I miss you; miss you so much I had to wake you up!” she then went on to describe how she received the freight and that there were losses and she was not going to take three hours to count the stock and would give him feedback later on in the day. It was not 15 minutes later when my boss phoned me to ‘just touch base’ and I was having a little pity party for myself.

I do not have many of these as I believe in being positive and have zero tolerance for negative people especially when I am one of those negative people. I have tried “the standing in front of the mirror” and using the Mantra – “You are wonderful, you are successful, you are … “ and that is as far as I get because I can’t carry on and a normally land up laughing at myself as I see the reflection looking back at me with this look of disbelief…. Well it works for some people and I will try it again. It has been said; “if you say something often, enough it becomes true.”

I mentioned Bern’s stress levels and she shyly giggled and said that was why she was phoning me and not Bern. She admitted in being a little afraid to phone Bern, as she was sure she would be blasted. Now this is funny as Bern and Cheryl are identical in facing challenges and they tackle them head on. Unlike me, I run around like “Cock Robin who exclaims that the world is coming to an end when facing a crisis”. I explained this to Cheryl and told her that Bern would simply take Cock Robin and throw him in the oven for lunch and warn the world that until she gave it permission to end’ it would simply carry on as planned.

This is true, I over react and panic and get all het up and run around and pace an awful lot when things do not run smoothly, where as Bern simply accepts the challenge ahead of her and woe betide anything or anyone who decides to stop her or interfere with her project. Many a man has been reduced to a trembling bundle of tear when they have tried to interfere. I admire her strength and no nonsense attitude, she says it as it is and you know exactly where you stand. In the ten years we have been together, she has only used that “Tone” with me twice and I was shattered. Broken, splinters of me could be seen all over the floor. The one time was when I was having a typical Sales Person tantrum about a service failure and stormed out my office and confronted her while she was on the forklift and I blasted her.

There I was hands on hips, shouting, pontificating, and making such a scene. When I stopped she raised here dreaded right eyebrow at me and very quietly said to me “Watch you tone of voice” well that was all that needed to be said. I skulked off back to my office, closed my door and collapsed in a bundle of tears at my desk followed closely by me phoning Sarah to tell her that Bern raised her eye brow and me and used her ‘tone’ with me. I was stunned and sat there feeling bewildered and chastised as I was in the wrong and I did need to be put in my place – but Bern was the one who did it and this shook me to the very core. Sarah laughed at me, can you believe it and told me that I had to put ‘my big girl panties on and deal with it’. I swear if I had not actually carried Sarah for nine months and given birth to her, I would swear she is Bern’s natural child! They are so alike in so many ways!!!!!! I give up, after receiving no sympathy from her, I phoned Cait and after she stopped laughing at my wails of trauma she said, Shame my mommy”. Now that was much better and I felt a little appeased but I did not leave my office for the rest of the day in fear of the dreaded ‘eyebrow’ meeting me at my door way! Stupid I am not, ridiculous and a magnet for chaos I may be, but stupid I most certainly am not!

You would think I had learnt my lesson wouldn’t you? Not so much… the other day I was ranting and raving about a particular person who betrayed me; and it has been over a year since it happened and I just cannot seem to let go of the resentment I feel and the pain at being betrayed. She listen patiently for the 1000th time and turned to me and lifted her eye brow and used that dreaded tone “Don’t you think it’s time to either deal with it and tell her how you feel, or just simply let it go? This way you are giving her power over you and letting her define who you are and it’s time to move on!” I sat there and looked at her in utter disbelief, as she had said what I know should have been said to me ages ago, but she – my gentle Bern, my rock, my life jacket, my everything in life ; said it and I was stunned. I kept very quiet and only later on in bed did I tell her that her words had been a bit harsh and I was traumatized.

Oh, what a drama queen I am, and she was right, however that does not consol me. My cool calm Bern lost her patience with me, and I could see that eyebrow rise which normally has no effect on me and she spoke to me as if I was 14 years old and I am still traumatized. That will teach me to carry a grudge or not do something about it.

Hopefully another 10 years will go by before I am disciplined again by Bern because it’s just plain scary and I never want to see the rise of the Eye Brow Beast again! I now mumble and grumble to myself if this person upsets me again and if she asks me what is wrong; I simply say the person’s name and she walks away with no comment. Lol quote funny actually as you would think as Scorpion I would seek my revenge, but I don’t, I wallow I in my -self pity and just do not let go! . Woe betide the person who stumbles into the valley of Bern’s Lifted Eye Brow; as she will use it and she will let you know you are being pathetic.

A lesson I do not want to learn again…. However, one I am sure I will experience again as I over react and over analyze and question everything repeatedly. I know my family finds this tiring and one day they are all going to raise their eyebrows at me, hand me the wailing whip, and tell me to deal with it… Until that day I will continue to carry this scar and remind Bern from time to time, about the two occasions in our long relationship that she chastised me. I will put on my sad forlorn expression; expecting sympathy; however I know I will be treated with the eyebrow glare and a small smile on her face as she tells me to GET OVER IT!

During my conversation with Cheryl about goals and life plus the changing roles and children leaving home, Cheryl reminded me I have cats that now need my attention. Angel decided this was the opportune moment to emphasis my bosses words. Angel is going to be the death of me. She has this need to edit all my work and has great fun on parcel perfect as I am trying to capture my collections. I tried to fire her but she does not take instructions well. In fact, she thinks she is the boss and her claws are much more effective than my yelling at her. She is so lovable, she throws herself down on my keys, and if I am writing something, she chews the pen right out of my hand and any paper I am writing on gets chewed and shredded. I am going to be asked to explain why my proofs of deliveries seem to have tiny puncture marks in them when they arrive at Head Office.

Monster kitty (Mommy kitty) has one or two broken teeth in the front of her mouth now. I think she is into S & M. Clearly, her lovers get rough. It does not seem to bother her as she still eats like a Shetland pony. (Not a horse because she is little)

Tabby is going to miss Bern’s Mom and their evening antics and game of catchers. We took mom out to dinner on her last evening with us as she insisted we go to the Spur in the Pavilion as the waiters and kitchen staff do a hillbilly rock dance for the patrons. We clapped along and cheered and did the rodeo cheer with them. mom loved this and was adamant we needed to see it before we left to return home. They were extremely busy but Bern called our waitress over and told her that her “tip” depended on her persuading the staff to do the dance. In three seconds flat the music was blaring announcing the Hillbilly Rock was about to start and we were entertained by 6 staff members. It really is a joy to watch and they put all their joy into the dance and mom was clapping along in absolute abandonment.

As we were leaving the shopping mall, mom showed us her version of the dance and clapped and took two steps, swung around and clapped again and whooped the rodeo cheer. Absolutely adorable and full of fun and she just makes one feel so great to be alive. With a twinkle in her eye she reminds us that she is not 83 yet and is waiting for Doctor House from the TV series to visit her when she becomes in need of his “special attention” what a lady, what an awesome role model, and we adore her.

Tabby is going to miss Bern’s Mom and their evening antics and game of catchers. Taby keeps on going to the room mom used to look for her, meows for her, and then runs around looking her new playmate.

Ginger boy decided on Thursday night he needed to leopard crawl under the blanket and attack me. He seems to have this need to destroy my feet and my derrière….I think in his own subtle way he is trying to tell me to bath! I did the jump wriggle, retrieve my foot from his claws and teeth and when he attacked the protruding derrière, I shrieked and without meaning too -I pulled away. I was left with blood gushing out of my injuries and the bed was soaked in rivers of spouting blood. (Okay, okay it was not that bad but it sure as hell felt like it was… you experience the claw shredding attack and tell me you feel any different!) I needed surgery and there are no butt transplants yet … I am now sporting a road map on my behind courtesy of Ginger boy.

Mofo is still the soft quiet one who only occasionally climbs up my leg when she thinks its dinnertime. She is not as bad as she was, I suppose because I feed her every time I see her to discourage this need she has for rock climbing up my leg.

Bern Took Fiona our lovable white German Sheppard to the Vet for her ears. She has a fungal infection because she loves playing with the water when we wash cars or do anything with water. Maybe Bern should take Little Boy in, get him fixed, and give him something for his nerves as he cried for Fiona when she was at the vet. whoooo whoooo whoooo hoooooo hooooo for a full hour. Great fun to work in our office with this in the background, listening to him whine and watch him shake like a piñata! Jinx is a happy girl all sweet and smiling and she adores    little Babushka. The two of them are terrors always playing and tearing up and     down. They love their squeak toys -yes sometimes these squeak toys are the cats but mostly the squeak toys we buy from the shops.

We had a wonderful weekend in Port Edward - the journey was full of giggles. We took our four dogs with for the weekend. Bern’s mom was with us so she sat in the front. I drove, as I get carsick when I sit in the back and Bern sat with the animals. A better description is the dogs sat with Bern.

I tried not to giggle but the muffled giggles turned into all out gut wrenching laughter as I looked in the review mirror. There was Jinx sitting on her lap like Lady Muck on Toast and Bern had this pained expression as Jinx had her foot planted nicely in her stomach and she would not budge. So every turning in the road and every bump just shifted Jinx’s weight and crushed Bern even more. When I hit those very deep sharp corners we saw a jumble of legs and bodies as Bern landed up with all the dogs on her.

Eventually in sheer desperation, Bern pushed Jinx off her lap and sat in the middle of the back seat. Like a four-year-old leaning forward in expectation of hearing what the parents are discussing in the front of the car. So cute; and had maybe 10cm to sit on. I did try to miss the bumps I promise and take the corners slowly – but with our wonderful South African roads, it was not always possible. The final part of the trip to the Beach house is a windy twisty road and its left then right then bumps so Bern had her own little roller coaster ride with extras thrown in for fun.

The language coming out of her mouth has to be censored and her mom had a quick lesson in swearing. Shame I could see mom saying gentle prayers in her head for her daughter’s soul. It was so cute and actually besides using Bern as the filler in a sandwich when we turned a corner the dogs were well behaved. Babushka eventually thought it would be safer to sit on Bern’s moms lap, as Fiona is slightly heavier than she should be as she has this avid love for Avos.

In fact, the Vet weighed her and her comment was – Um she is a little bit plump; but we will chalk that up to her winter padding. Actually, Bern explained, she has lost weight because Avo season is over and she has a passion for them. She sits and watches the avo tree in the neighbour’s garden and wills them to fall off the tree onto our side of the fence.

It is a mad scramble to retrieve them from her so we can at least have one of two. When we are successful Fiona sits in front of the grocery cupboard and waits for us to open the door of the cupboard so she can maybe; just maybe; find the hidden treasures (her stolen avos) and feed her cravings. She has taught Jinx and Little boy to eat these very fattening treats and Bern and I are extremely lucky if we get 1 for every 10 they consume.

The vet advised Bern that we might have to put Fiona on a diet. This sounds so easy as we are supposed to be the ones controlling her intake of food, but we do not control the avo season and I swear she has the ears of a bat as she hears them break off the twig holding them and she is there before they even hit the ground. Our little avo addict. I suppose there could be worse things for her to be addicted to – but you try to explain to the vet why she is not losing weight?

The Vet and her assistant look at you with this disbelief and explain that it is our responsibility to care for our animals. This is quite insulting with a giggle thrown in as we live for our animals – which the vet knows as she has met most of them. The staff at the clinic have fallen in Love with Fiona and call her Princess Fiona. Fiona loved the complements and even decided to forgive the vet for calling her plump. (only just, Fiona does not like being called FAT her fur makes her Poofy!) She was a little distrustful, because as they were filling out her prescription she jumped up onto the counter and watched what they were doing. Her concern was that they might have added some type of diet pill in. This was her way of showing them that she is quite fit and can do stretches. She is such a gentle sweet angel and such a good role model for our other animals.

The dogs loved the space and freedom of the garden at Port Edward and they ran around the garden, sniffed, and explored every nook and cranny of the garden. They slept extremely well that night. The next day we took them to the rocks by the sea and this was an adventure they thoroughly enjoyed. Babushka was so funny. She was following Fiona and jumped from rock to rock just as her leader did. Only thing is she is tiny and Fiona towers over her. The rocks Fiona chose to jump onto to were much too high for Babushka to rock climb and one was just out of her reach. I was watching her and in a split second, I saw her head pop up as she was jumping onto the rock…. She tried to hold on and then she was gone from sight. Awwwww she fell into the rock pools and was drenched. She thought this was great and I tried to scramble over to her to help her up onto the rock while trying to keep my balance as I was giggling at her magic act – here one minute gone the next.

Babushka believes she is a big dog, not this little slipper disguised as a dog. Babushka was determined that the rock would not defeat her and she took a running jump, grabbed on with her claws and pulled herself up. Animal’s smile, of this I am sure as she had this huge grin on her face and I could hear her saying “Lets do it again, let’s do it again!”

After that little trip to the rock pools and back, the dogs were exhausted and the trip home was a breeze. They slept all the way and last night they only asked to be let out once for the call of nature.

All in all the weekend was wonderful I was very sad to say goodbye to mom as she returned to Johannesburg with Carol and the house is now double empty. I think it is time to adopt more animals. Hmmmmmmm let me think about that. Well I have always wanted a Rottweiler and this may just be the time to get one. Val entertained us with her champagne laughter and she let her hair down so to speak. Mom managed to see her whales and this made the whole drive to Port Edward worth it for her. We were given an extra treat as we saw a school of dolphins frolicking in the sea and you cannot help but be amazed at God’s incredible miracle when you look out to the sea.

What am awesome view and the peace and tranquility we feel is so healing and soul replenishing. It is like being in God’s company and being able to appreciate his beauty and tell him how wonderful his creations are. We tend to forget to see the beauty that surrounds us and appreciate the gift of life during our busy weeks and daily stress of work and deb. We often lose ourselves to despair, which is why going to Port Edward is such a gift for Bern and I. it is back to basics for us and we have the opportunity to re-charge our batteries and prioritize what is important. This is something I think we need to do every morning, take time to appreciate the gift of life and love. Next time I fall out of bed and trip over my adorable animals - I will remember to look out of my window and give thanks that I am able to experience everything the day has in store for me.

I suppose it’s time to get the week started and make those appointments and try look like the successful person I so badly want to be. We had no luck winning the lotto so it is back to the grueling week’s work and telephones and I will every now and then sit and dream about my animal rescue farm and the joys of not having to worry about paying bills. I pacify myself with the knowledge that I do love my job and have such a wonderful bunch of people I work with and this helps for a short period. Then the silence of the house hits me and I miss my children and ...oh do not get me started…. Get over yourself Michelle, every mother has had to say goodbye to her children and she has survived it and I have faced much worse and survived that too.

Life is good! Life is Good, Life is Good, my new mantra for today, as the phones have not stopped ringing since walking into the office. I love life! I really DO!