The one thing I hold dear to me is the respect I get from my children, they listen to my every word and obey all my instructions, bend over backwards to be the very best children they can be………. Then they wake up! LOL As I sit here and grin to myself, Sarah’s message on mixit is still reeling in my head. She called me a TIT!!! I mean really, where’s the respect?? And all because I read her message wrong!!!
This is what happened........
Sarah: I love you mommy
Me: Are you logging off?
Tell me about your day?
How was the day with Dom?
Sarah : Are you my mommy?
Me: Well after 9 months of pregnancy and 19 hours of labour only to have you ripped out of me, yes I think I deserve the title of mommy!
Sarah: hahahahaha YOU TIT. I meant are you logging off.
Me: (with difficulty as I was shocked!) I beg your pardon, who is your TIT. I have never called you that and I am hurt, mortified and perplexed!
That was me finished I sat there laughing uncontrollably.......and there I thought she was asking me a serious question about her linage or questioning if, just maybe, she really was an alien???
I've learnt over the last few weeks that sms and mails are not as good as I tend to read the tone wrong and jump to conclusions and more often than not have to spend the next hour or so explaining how I read it or how I meant it! They really need to introduce tone signs into sms or mails......don't you think???
I adore my children and am extremely grateful that I have taught them to stand up for themselves and question authority and to have the courage to fight for what they believe in. However there are times… when I think my advice may make matters worse but that is not always the case.. let me give you a few examples ......
There was this very nasty prefect at Sarah’s school when she was a junior and rather than get involved I decided to give her some advice my mother gave me but added my Scorpio venom just to make it interesting. Now this girl had been making everyone’s life hell, a real madam with that air of importance and a very misguided thought that she was all powerful. This was to be expelled very soon!!!
I sat Sarah down and reminded her that age does not necessarily mean respect and that respect is earned not bullied! I gave her my sweet mother’s advice, which was, if you feel intimidated or have to face a crowd of people or someone is making you feel insignificant.....close your eyes and imagine them naked as this is less intimidating and you will realize that under all the frills we are all the same. Sarah looked at me with that “AS if that would work look that only teenagers have managed to perfect.” So I added then you walk up to her when she is surrounded by her peers, hopefully her boyfriend too and ask sweetly.......
“What does it feel like to be the most hated and laughed at person in the school? Not even your badge can protect you from the fact that you are a pitiful person who we pity as well as despise!” and walk off. Sarah looked at me and I could see her processing this thought as she got ready for school.
I thought nothing more of it and when nothing more was said I put it down to Sarah just deciding to put up with the antics of this girl who was trying to show her power but boy was I wrong! That very Friday and Sarah had the perfect opportunity, as this little strutting piece of work decided to belittle a child in front of Sarah and true to her red hair form she walked up to the prefect and with her shoulders back and a full audience of the break time students, she confronted her in a loud and very clear voice.....
“What does it feel like to be the most hated and laughed at person in the school? Not even your badge can protect you from the fact that you are a pitiful person who we pity as well as despise!” word for word. She had been practicing it. She then turned around looked at the audience and said... "Besides guys she's no better than we are and she had better learn fast that respect is earned not forced!!"
The students all applauded and this little pig headed girl ran off in tears. She gave Sarah quite a wide berth after that. "Well done Sarah!" were the cheers that she heard as she looked for a place to hide.
Sarah has kept this oath of not allowing anyone to belittle her to this day. Caitlin on the other hand is a fight looking for a place to happen!! She does not hold her tongue and she often speaks before she thinks, my fiery child, who believes she is the fighter of the weak and challenged. But her best talent is to really ask the wrong question for instance when she met an acquaintance’s boyfriend and his son......the child is 6 years old and this acquaintance has been with him for six and bit more years, so she turned to him and asked sweetly like an angel....."How old is your son?" to which he replied quite proudly "6 years old".... She stood there and absorbed it for a few seconds, looked him straight in the eye and said. “Oh so you are a cheat then!... while your wife was carrying your child you cheated on her with ……?” There was a stunned silence and I wished the floor would swallow me up but in truth she was saying out loud what everyone was thinking!! Ever tried to reinstate the atmosphere after a clanger like that.....we did the best thing we could, we politely left and that was that!! One of those times when my encouragement to speak their minds could have been better left unsaid.
She also has this innate ability to ask a question without realizing the ripple effects it may have and she can turn a very dry moment into a moment of total abandonment of one’s sanity as she tries to dig herself out of the hole she has just dug. We watch her squirm and laugh with her as she tries to explain what she really meant. Very funny indeed!! I respect her belief on what is right and what is wrong and the innocent way she asks questions we steer clear of, I envy this innocence and hope she never loses it. She asks the hard questions and demands an answer, I am sure she would be brilliant as an investigative reporter, she certainly keeps me on my toes and as I've said before fear has no place in our relationship if she thinks I am wrong she has absolutely no problem telling me. There is one time though, bless her soul, I walked into her room to switch off the light and she blasted me from here to kingdom come, I was quite taken aback and walked into the lounge still reeling from her verbal abuse, I stood in the lounge and thought about it, did a complete turn around and walked back into her room and blasted her!!! I read her the riot act and asked her who the hell she thought she was talking to and really did my mother trick so well, stormed back into the lounge and tried to calm down.......
She came out of the room and asked me what was wrong and it dawned on me she had been talking in her sleep! I felt absolutely terrible!!! You can have a full on conversations with both Caitlin and Sarah while they sleep and they will answer you and will give you coherent answers, only to forget the whole thing happened the next day. Sarah has been known to even send please call me’s off her phone and not remember them and Caitlin has had conversations with Richard and discussed all sorts of things and Richards has not been aware that she is sleeping??? It is only when he wants to implement their discussion and plans that she looks at him as if he has totally lost his mind and how dare he make decisions about their plans without discussing it with her first. He now has learnt to make sure she remembers the telephone conversation before he launches off into their agreed upon plans, only to have her snap at him “Do you think I am stupid, of course I remember!” Rich there is no winning this battle. My advice is after 21h00 don’t make phone calls. Save yourself the pain of not knowing.
MATHEW is a man of few words, and he says what he means and means what he says, but I question that sometimes, as he has this ability to smile at you while he is telling you your fortune and that smile just makes everything seem okay!! I have watched him at the ATM drawing money to turn around and smile at the lady behind him, and when he is finished, low and behold she gives him her telephone number. Clearly he gets his charm from my mom’s side of the family, but definitely not from me because the best description my friends and family can up with for me is CUTE and something I hear over and over again YOU ARE SO FUNNY or FUNNY GIRL.
Now if I had a magic wand, I would prefer it to be, gorgeous, stunning, amazing, awesome, commanding, but now it’s cute and funny.....oh well better than being called a TIT!!!!
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