Like meeting Caz and Allan, that most certainly has enhanced my life and Caz is an Internet junkie and an unending source of information. Classic example, I wanted to get a face peel (yeah well the youthful look needs a little help now and again....sometimes in desperation) so Caz kindly investigated it for me, thoroughly, and one of the pearls of wisdom she imparted was that I may lose my eyelashes....nice......like I don't have enough trouble sleeping!!!! Well needless to say I will not be using it and will just grow old gracefully! Unfortunately 'gracefully' doesn't give us the results we want so Caz has recommended some of her magic facial products I'll will most definitely use when the budget allows- but as usual I digress........ We were visiting her one evening, and she made a comment that really pushed the giggle button......“I have received so many adverts on my Internet telling me all about penis enlargements – I could have grown my own by now and now all i need now is Viagra! “ Funny Girl my friend Caz
Now Caz introduced me to Jinx who in turn gave us Beast, and as I am sure you are aware, Jinx has changed our lives. The latest escapade is that she and beast broke my bed side table. Yes you heard me. Broke it. They were frolicking (no not frolicking but it’s a cleaner word to use) around the bedroom and were dive bombing each other and Monster Kitty was either their target or the instigator when they crashed into my table. Snapping the leg right off. I really don’t have the right descriptive words for the mayhem and chaos these two cause. Yes CAZ, I know they are bored and I know they need training – and yes I am working on that, but please can anyone recommend a good therapist for me. 
I now have to hide everything from them, cell phones, remote controls for the television, shoes, bags, clothes, and try as hard as I can to persuade Monster Kitty that she is safer locked in my cupboard; for some reason she objects… go figure. I still have to work out if she likes the rough and tumble or has reached a point of surrender. Jinx is still her best friend, but I know she is not too happy about Jinx’s son Beast using her as a chew toy. He grabs her tail and pulls her around the room and just when I try to come to the rescue, Monster Kitty turns around and plays right back and we have this wild game of catches going on in the room. Jinx has now decided that if Monster Kitty is allowed to sleep on the bed, so she can! Let’s think about this for a second! No not a good idea Madam Jinx, you are too big and I like my toes on my feet. Now something quite unexpected has happened since Beast joined our Zoo, 
Little Boy has become a puppy in nature too. He plays just as hard with Jinx and Monster now and really the room has become a race track. Fiona watches them and you can see her concern grown has her precious Little Boy is behaving quite out of character. She runs from dog to dog to discipline them and in return gets nipped on the ankles or tail for her efforts, (Beast holds on for dear life) and I swear she looks at me with imploring eyes with a question of W T F. Very cute and very entertaining not to mention costly and quite draining as I dogs the nips and Jinx has decided that my behind is also a chew toy now so when I get out the bath I am in serious trouble. I tried to explain to her this very morning that that kind of behaviour is not acceptable and considered rude. She of course just ignored me and proceeded to bite my toes. So there I was naked in the bathroom doing my version of a tap dance trying desperately to grab the towel and cover my butt as she was determined to give me a good nip. Ever seen and beached whale do the tap dance…..not a pretty sight.
Note to self…. See I still haven’t learnt – lock the dogs outside when you are getting ready for work! Truth be told I feel safer with them in the house, but maybe I should fear them more than intruders. The amount of cups of coffee that have been over turned when they do their version of the river dance can only be considered dangerous - River race mores like it! One day one day peace will be restored to my home, but until then, I need to either just join in or run like hell.
Now Caz has many animals that she has adopted over the years and like me she is an avid animal lover, so we have a lot in common, the only difference is that she does not have stark raving mad animals. I am sure she gave me Jinx as she saw that the two of us had a lot in common. Jinx and me I mean. My life is a mad jumble of tumbles, falls and most recently a stark raving mad land lady… which thank goodness seems to have decided to focus on her new tenants. Good luck to them. I so ask myself why the universe likes to throw me into this whirl wind of chaos but I have decided to go with the flow until I can figure that out. Wish me luck.
Thank goodness for good friends, who listen to my woes, laugh with me and cry with me. My closest and oldest Friend Brenda is one of those wonderful friends, who no matter how far the distance is still manages to comfort me and make me feel special and loved. What an amazing person. She has overcome cancer and survived to have two wonderful children and she is just a tower of strength. I admire her so much.
Note to self…. See I still haven’t learnt – lock the dogs outside when you are getting ready for work! Truth be told I feel safer with them in the house, but maybe I should fear them more than intruders. The amount of cups of coffee that have been over turned when they do their version of the river dance can only be considered dangerous - River race mores like it! One day one day peace will be restored to my home, but until then, I need to either just join in or run like hell.
Now Caz has many animals that she has adopted over the years and like me she is an avid animal lover, so we have a lot in common, the only difference is that she does not have stark raving mad animals. I am sure she gave me Jinx as she saw that the two of us had a lot in common. Jinx and me I mean. My life is a mad jumble of tumbles, falls and most recently a stark raving mad land lady… which thank goodness seems to have decided to focus on her new tenants. Good luck to them. I so ask myself why the universe likes to throw me into this whirl wind of chaos but I have decided to go with the flow until I can figure that out. Wish me luck.
Thank goodness for good friends, who listen to my woes, laugh with me and cry with me. My closest and oldest Friend Brenda is one of those wonderful friends, who no matter how far the distance is still manages to comfort me and make me feel special and loved. What an amazing person. She has overcome cancer and survived to have two wonderful children and she is just a tower of strength. I admire her so much.
One of the most misleading things about Brenda is her sweet innocent face (I refer to our childhood fights where she is adamant she did not hit me with a spade, - no all she did was bite me – well she did both and I still have the scars to prove it. Six years olds can be ruthless! LOL) one of my favourite stories is the close bond she had with my mother. She adored my mom and the feeling was mutual. However one time my mother caught her totally off guard. Brenda had just greeted my mom and told her (my mom that is) that she smelt wonderful. To which my dear sweet innocent mother replied. “It must be my fanny!” Brenda was stunned and said “Aunty Dadeen!” and could say no more and Brenda and I collapsed with laughter. She was stunned at these words and I must say I was too, but that was my mom through and through – a dark horse who hid her sense of humour so when it did come out you were always shocked and taken aback at her wit and sharpness. A few years back when Brenda was visiting, she wanted to go the Bruma Lake flea market to find African prints to take back to New Zealand with her. We were on the high way when her sister Roz phoned to find out where she was as one of Brenda’s nieces wanted to come with us. So she told Roz she was on the Beyers Naaadeee high way – to which Bern responded Beyer Naude G .. Damit. Brenda quick on the uptake, shouted into the phone “Beyers Naude God Damit” to her sister. Now this in itself was very amusing but it has actually made an impact on our lives. Now instead of saying G.. Damit, we now all say Beyers Naude. It has even helped our game strategy in 30 seconds as Beyers Naude is one of the questions. So we just say…. Yes you got it .. G.. Damit and we all know the answer of course. The look of surprise on our opponents is quite amusing as they sit there and try to work out the connection. My girls say this now and I know Brenda uses it a lot too. Funny how we remember situations and use them without even realizing it.
Family and Friends add colour to our lives. We invited friends and family over for Bern’s Birthday about 4 years ago. Well as the evening wore on Bern, Jossie Bern’s sister- in- law, Michelle (not me) Sarah and Dene had been partaking in the red wine a little bit too much and Dene got it into his head that he wanted to listen to West Life. Which is great, we all love West Life, but they chose to listen to it on the car’s music system.
Before I knew what was happening, the radio was turned on full blast in out open Garage and they were belting off the lyrics like there was no tomorrow and their volumes increased as the wine flowed. Now we lived in a cluster home complex with 42 houses. Tight security and the houses were quite close together. I knew the neighbours had to be hearing this racket and I tried to persuade them to bring the party back into the house, but it was not to be. They believed the acoustics in the Open Garage added to their singing. I cannot listen to West Life without re-living that moment. I am sure the neighbours were relieved when we moved. I am surprised however that we got not one complaint. I think maybe they were a little intimidated by us and thought better of it to confront us. Or maybe they were scared we would do a repeat performance for them. That birthday was one of the best birthdays she has ever had according to Bern. My brother most certainly added flavour to the party as he becomes incredibly extroverted with a bit of Dutch Courage and his humour knows no bounds.
Family and Friends add colour to our lives. We invited friends and family over for Bern’s Birthday about 4 years ago. Well as the evening wore on Bern, Jossie Bern’s sister- in- law, Michelle (not me) Sarah and Dene had been partaking in the red wine a little bit too much and Dene got it into his head that he wanted to listen to West Life. Which is great, we all love West Life, but they chose to listen to it on the car’s music system.
Before I knew what was happening, the radio was turned on full blast in out open Garage and they were belting off the lyrics like there was no tomorrow and their volumes increased as the wine flowed. Now we lived in a cluster home complex with 42 houses. Tight security and the houses were quite close together. I knew the neighbours had to be hearing this racket and I tried to persuade them to bring the party back into the house, but it was not to be. They believed the acoustics in the Open Garage added to their singing. I cannot listen to West Life without re-living that moment. I am sure the neighbours were relieved when we moved. I am surprised however that we got not one complaint. I think maybe they were a little intimidated by us and thought better of it to confront us. Or maybe they were scared we would do a repeat performance for them. That birthday was one of the best birthdays she has ever had according to Bern. My brother most certainly added flavour to the party as he becomes incredibly extroverted with a bit of Dutch Courage and his humour knows no bounds.
Dutch Courage, I wonder how many times this has caused more heart ache than good. But in the case of Dene, oh he manages to lighten the party and his pseudo personality Shaun makes a most welcome appearance, the contrast between shy quiet Dene and the party Dene is so noticeable he is now called Shaun. Jossie gave him this name as she could not remember his name and told him he looks like a Shaun not a Dene when we corrected her. – Hence the name Shaun. My girls often asked Dene if Shaun could come out to play.One evening we were driving past an outdoor place and Bern commented to Dene that one day he must just load up the plants that were on display (not seriously – this was just a joke) as we looked longingly at the plants and pots and outdoor furniture that were on display. A few weeks later he was out with Cait and Sarah and drove past the outdoor place and commented, “Let's stop and get some plants, but if we do the security will come out and shoot us with their guns. Pew pew pew and we will be dead and that’s not good” Like l little boy again with the sound effects. All the actions were included, the holding of an imaginary gun and all. Of course my girls thought this was so funny and still tease him about the big guns going pew pew pew. Is it my imagination, or do boys never grown up, their toys just get more expensive?
June last year we were visiting the girls, when Bern’s niece Leigh decided to join us at Bern’s sister’s house. The guitar was brought out and we had a good old sing along. One the TV screen behind us was the music channel and when the sing a long was taking a break we turned up the sound. Now this channel just shows 
the name of the song the singer and the composer. We were quite impressed with Leigh’s knowledge of songs and who the singer was, and Bern in particular commented on this until we realized that she was in fact reading off the titles. “Um Bern who sings ….. ?” when we replied in the negative she would rattle off the song’s name and the composer and artist. With an expression of an angel, we cottoned on soon enough and even when she was leaving she said “I know this song, and tried to look over her shoulder to read the title and of course we burst out laughing. Leigh is very amusing and has a sharp wit. Bern threatened to bring out the wooden spoon and Leigh of course shrieked and ran to hide them.
the name of the song the singer and the composer. We were quite impressed with Leigh’s knowledge of songs and who the singer was, and Bern in particular commented on this until we realized that she was in fact reading off the titles. “Um Bern who sings ….. ?” when we replied in the negative she would rattle off the song’s name and the composer and artist. With an expression of an angel, we cottoned on soon enough and even when she was leaving she said “I know this song, and tried to look over her shoulder to read the title and of course we burst out laughing. Leigh is very amusing and has a sharp wit. Bern threatened to bring out the wooden spoon and Leigh of course shrieked and ran to hide them.Many years back Bern and I were asked to house sit her brother’s house and keep an eye on Leigh. She must have been about 16 and she was such a pleasure to spend time with. We were in the kitchen preparing dinner when she was quite cheeky to Bern, not in a bad way, in a mischievous way and Bern smacked her on her butt with the wooden spoon she was using to stir the food. Leigh ran to the mirror to check out the red mark and was mortified. “Bern, you never smacked me as a child, boo hoo, look at the red mark "and waltzed back into the kitchen – buttocks exposed. And the game was on. She and Bern were chasing each other around the house after that. Hence the threats of wooden spoons. When Leigh visits us, she makes a point of hiding the wooden spoon and we search for them for weeks after she has left. Quite a character Bern’s niece and such a quick sense of humour.
Another wonderful friend we have made in Durban is Val; she is one of the funniest people I have met in a long time. I have mentioned her to you in a few blogs. She really makes me smile with her stories and has this innate way of describing things. She is very open and easy to talk too. Like her regaling the visit she had to a nudist beach. She went with a couple of girl friends and they were typical South Africans in their need to see the sights and one of the taxi drivers told them they had to go to the nudist beach. So off she and her girlfriends went to a beach called Banana beach I think. Well the choice of name for this beach tells you a lot. They walked for kilometers to finally find the nudist beach and the way Val describes it is incredibly funny. She is very expressive with her hands and the actions show exactly how the men lay on the beaches on their backs with their privates exposed and how the ladies had no problems getting an allover tan.
She said that they were in their costumes and were very shy but after a few glasses of wine they decided that it was time to do the deed. “When in Rome….," so they took off their kit and sat down on their beach chairs - pretended that this did not faze them one bit when in actual fact they were staring like school girls in the beginning but it lost its newness with every glass of wine they consumed.
Another wonderful friend we have made in Durban is Val; she is one of the funniest people I have met in a long time. I have mentioned her to you in a few blogs. She really makes me smile with her stories and has this innate way of describing things. She is very open and easy to talk too. Like her regaling the visit she had to a nudist beach. She went with a couple of girl friends and they were typical South Africans in their need to see the sights and one of the taxi drivers told them they had to go to the nudist beach. So off she and her girlfriends went to a beach called Banana beach I think. Well the choice of name for this beach tells you a lot. They walked for kilometers to finally find the nudist beach and the way Val describes it is incredibly funny. She is very expressive with her hands and the actions show exactly how the men lay on the beaches on their backs with their privates exposed and how the ladies had no problems getting an allover tan.
She said that they were in their costumes and were very shy but after a few glasses of wine they decided that it was time to do the deed. “When in Rome….," so they took off their kit and sat down on their beach chairs - pretended that this did not faze them one bit when in actual fact they were staring like school girls in the beginning but it lost its newness with every glass of wine they consumed.
A while later then needed to open another bottle of wine and for the life of them they could not get the cork out of the bottle. So Val decided to ask a man who was strolling past if he could help. He was quite comfortable in his nakedness and strolled over and agreed to help. This is how Val described it, with all the hand movement to go with,
“Well he strolled over, bits swinging in the breeze. – took the bottle of wine from us, squatted down, and put the bottle of wine between his legs and pulled the cork out, his jingly bits were resting in the sand completely unaware of how it must have looked. Chatting away to the ladies and asking them where they came from when all I could see was his jingly bits and a bottle of wine nestled in his balls, and of course I could not help but stare and we all started giggling like school girls.”
Now these ladies I need to add were all over 50 and this was the highlight of their holiday. As I said Dutch Courage has helped in many a situation and I think this qualifies as one of them. They thanked the kind man and watches as he walked off, oblivious to their giggles and he seemed to feel quite pleased with himself for his act of chivalry. I am sure when chivalry was invented, it was not intended to be used with dangly bits on display and have everything exposed.
“Well he strolled over, bits swinging in the breeze. – took the bottle of wine from us, squatted down, and put the bottle of wine between his legs and pulled the cork out, his jingly bits were resting in the sand completely unaware of how it must have looked. Chatting away to the ladies and asking them where they came from when all I could see was his jingly bits and a bottle of wine nestled in his balls, and of course I could not help but stare and we all started giggling like school girls.”
Now these ladies I need to add were all over 50 and this was the highlight of their holiday. As I said Dutch Courage has helped in many a situation and I think this qualifies as one of them. They thanked the kind man and watches as he walked off, oblivious to their giggles and he seemed to feel quite pleased with himself for his act of chivalry. I am sure when chivalry was invented, it was not intended to be used with dangly bits on display and have everything exposed.
One night around a braai at her beach cottage in Port Edward we were talking about ways to make money and we decided we would open a bed and breakfast place that catered for couples who want to re-kindle their passion and would supply all the necessary accessories, I mentioned to Val, that she could don a dominatrix outfit when she met the guests and her response was “With this old leather cookie; I don’t think so!” so now when I phone her I of course tease her and call her cookie monster or leather cookie or golden cookie and her laughter is so heartfelt and warm, it’s just to hear it and she brightens up anyone ones day.Friends and family, the spice to life.
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