Humour even in the face of tragedyWell I am not sure everyone would see marriage as tragedy but they didn't have mine!! To be fair it wasn't all bad; in fact most of my first marriage was good so not quite the total tragedy. One of the good memories was our honeymoon trip to Kariba, Vic Falls and Wankie Game lodge, was our first stop, whilst unpacking I found my sweet mother had put in a couple of slabs of chocolate to “Break the Ice” so to speak. Adrian and I sat there, appreciating her efforts and smiling because this was the type of thing my mom used to do for her children. Unfortunately I became quite ill while visiting the Victoria Falls and there was not one chemist or shop open, remember this was in the good old days when ox carts didn't have keys, actually no....I'm not that bloody old...it was in the days when shops were closed on Sundays and it really was a day of rest! But poor Adrian was absolutely beside himself with worry, he phoned his new mother in-law and bawled on the phone, I was so delirious with the infection that I mistook an English wolf hound for a lion which gave him a good giggle and of course he couldn’t wait to tell the family about my “Lion”!! As any sane, non delirious woman, I denied this vehemently and told him he was imagining things.
One of the memories that still makes me smile was the rugby matches and the parties afterwards. Being tea-totaler back then so I used watch the goings on with disdain and felt "oh so superior "as everyone got sloshed. It was inevitable that as the evening wore on the rugby boys would get it into their heads to strip and parade for their wives and girlfriends. Really was this absolutely necessary! They would do their imitation of being shy by hiding their private parts between their legs and form a circle around the roaring fire facing outwards, bottoms facing the heat of the fire. Now Adrian was always the first one to get his kit off, and I sat there with the smile of a woman in pain, now this was done at every party but it wasn't all bad, there were some benefits, as there was this one "hottie" who had a body to die for and we (the ladies) said if they had to get their kit off, at least we had the pleasure of seeing this Greek God! This was in the middle of Winter in Ladymsith Natal and the temperatures get below zero so you can imagine there really wasn't much to hide, so like little school boys they did the swinging of their hips showing off their bodies to us and one guy got a little too excited if you know what I mean when the heat from the fire encouraged certain parts to expand…. And before he could stop the inevitable…. he was saluting us ladies....we applauded......obviously!!! His wife, not too thrilled at his show of manliness, dragged him off by his ear....all very funny indeed!!
During quite a bad time in Zimbabwe (well not much changed there, has it?) when the army was not on their best behaviour and were causing havoc round about 1982, my family and I, were on our way to a relative which was a little way out of Bulawayo. I was in the car with my parents and my brother Dene who was still a tiny baby, possibly 6 months old, asleep on my lap, my sister Val and Sandy, my now sister –in-law were following us with a good friend Mike and his fiancée Judy in the other car. We saw the oncoming vehicle and before we knew it this huge army truck had come onto our side of the road and was playing "chicken" with us, my father reacted and the next thing we were flying through the air, the car was spinning and rolling and we hit an embankment, the car rolled a few times and then it finally stopped. I had still been holding on to Dene in my lap but at the final thump the force ripped him from my hands.
Thank goodness we were not seriously hurt but there was a mad scramble looking for Dene in the car and Dad asking “Are you all alright?". I couldn't find Dene, eventually after what seemed an age in darkness I finally found find him but he wasn't breathing!! In a mad panic I did mouth to mouth and he, thankfully, gasped for air, and began to cry. The terror I felt as he flew from my arms was unimaginable and I now firmly believe baby seats are absolutely essential!! We finally managed to climb out of the car with Dene whimpering, taking Dene from me, my mom checked him over, hugged him, we had a group hug while my Dad was still trying to make sure we were indeed okay being quite dark we couldn't see the extent of the damage. Mike, Sandy, Val and Judy had arrived and all ran to us poor Val was hysterical, she was 10 at the time, she'd seen the whole accident unfold her family disappearing off the road and she'd thought the worst.
We slowly and gingerly walked up the embankment and now with shock setting in the silliest things suddenly seemed important, my Mom turned to me and said “I lost my shoe” and she seemed most perturbed by this, I looked at my finger and said “I broke a nail”.....now really, in the face of everything, was this all I could say? My mind still boggles at this. It was only in the head lights of Mike’s car that we saw that my father had a head injury that just would not stop bleeding; we rushed to find one of Dene's material Nappies which he held to his head as we walked to the car. Mom was holding Dene and I was carrying Val who was quite inconsolable. I have mentioned that my father sported a belly and with his hands up on his head, holding the Cloth nappy he was unable to pull up his shorts which were slipping down his nonexistent waist all he could do was ask Sandy, my very shy and very discreet sister –in- law, to pull up his pants for him.
This made light of the sheer horror of what we were feeling and in the middle of nowhere we stood there and watched in amusement as sweet Sandy was pulling up my dad’s trousers and saying, “Uncle Chris, this is not the type of relationship I anticipated having with my future father in law.!” Once done she was asked to do it again and again; finally she gave up and just held onto his pants all the way the car. As I said in time of tragedy we do still find ourselves able to laugh. At the hospital, my father had many stitches and Dene was checked out thoroughly, we were all given the all clear and sent home!
One thing that became apparent after the accident was that as Dene was growing up he developed a reflex action to hold his breath when he got hurt not a permanent thing but it was still very scary when it happened. He would go blue in the face and sometimes we needed to splash him in the face with cold water to get him to take a breath. One time in my Mother’s lounge and as toddlers do, Dene fell, Mom was busy in the kitchen and I was trying to get him to breathe so I told Val to go get water to splash his face, she was terrified and in her 10 year old mind she decided that the tap was too far away……so she spat in Dene’s face!!! So there I am holding Dene who’s blue in the face and she spat on him!!! I of course looked at her in amazement and said "What the hell are you doing??" she replied with a tremble in her voice "The tap is too far away so if I spit on him the spray will wake him up!!" Well I just burst out laughing and this did the trick. Dene heard the laughter and realized there was no panic and the little bugger took a deep breath!! So a lesson learnt...don't panic be calm, 'don't worry be happy' and laugh!!
From then on we would all laugh out loud and he would know that there was nothing to fear and would breath without our help. We did take him for all the tests imaginable but it was just a reaction to pain and thank goodness he out grew this. Imagine him on the rugby field, fearlessly tackling the biggest bloke in an effort to assert his dominance then falling back in a faint waiting for someone to laugh or spit on him so he could breathe again!!!! He certainly gave us reason for concern in his younger years and poor Val in her effort to help actually gave us the solution and I've always made sure not to faint in Val’s company, the last thing I want is to be spat on!
Val used to call our brother Bain “Bunny” when she was little, very cute and very sweet you will agree, until one of the inter school sports days when she ran up to Bain at a school called Guinea Fowl and called him Bunny. Now Guinea Fowl High was not known for its genteel nature nor was it known for its kind and gentle boys. This was a school that prided itself in honour, strength and courage and with this code there was a lot of bullying by the seniors and Bain knew he was in for a real ragging when the boys learnt his nick name, but he never once complained to my parents about the antics of the seniors, he took it and handled it the best way he knew how.
And this is how he handled it..... Bain, his friend Mike (who they called Dog for reasons I still don’t know) and Kevin decided enough was enough and they formed a gang, it was not long before they were known as the MAFIA. They decided to give the seniors a taste of their own medicine, they would wait until an offender was on his own and then the three of them would clobber him. This obviously meant they would get a beating in return from the seniors to within inches of their lives, needless to say they continued these guerrilla tactics on the lone seniors. It was not long before the seniors erred on the side of reason....pain was not so pleasant and in view of there certainly being more pain they decided to leave the three alone... “Not so nice to being the one being bullied was it?” It didn't end there, Bain and his 'mafia' mates warned the seniors to back off bullying the juniors and trouble, pain free time was had by all. This cemented their reputation for the rest of their time at Guinea Fowl.
We slowly and gingerly walked up the embankment and now with shock setting in the silliest things suddenly seemed important, my Mom turned to me and said “I lost my shoe” and she seemed most perturbed by this, I looked at my finger and said “I broke a nail”.....now really, in the face of everything, was this all I could say? My mind still boggles at this. It was only in the head lights of Mike’s car that we saw that my father had a head injury that just would not stop bleeding; we rushed to find one of Dene's material Nappies which he held to his head as we walked to the car. Mom was holding Dene and I was carrying Val who was quite inconsolable. I have mentioned that my father sported a belly and with his hands up on his head, holding the Cloth nappy he was unable to pull up his shorts which were slipping down his nonexistent waist all he could do was ask Sandy, my very shy and very discreet sister –in- law, to pull up his pants for him.
This made light of the sheer horror of what we were feeling and in the middle of nowhere we stood there and watched in amusement as sweet Sandy was pulling up my dad’s trousers and saying, “Uncle Chris, this is not the type of relationship I anticipated having with my future father in law.!” Once done she was asked to do it again and again; finally she gave up and just held onto his pants all the way the car. As I said in time of tragedy we do still find ourselves able to laugh. At the hospital, my father had many stitches and Dene was checked out thoroughly, we were all given the all clear and sent home!
One thing that became apparent after the accident was that as Dene was growing up he developed a reflex action to hold his breath when he got hurt not a permanent thing but it was still very scary when it happened. He would go blue in the face and sometimes we needed to splash him in the face with cold water to get him to take a breath. One time in my Mother’s lounge and as toddlers do, Dene fell, Mom was busy in the kitchen and I was trying to get him to breathe so I told Val to go get water to splash his face, she was terrified and in her 10 year old mind she decided that the tap was too far away……so she spat in Dene’s face!!! So there I am holding Dene who’s blue in the face and she spat on him!!! I of course looked at her in amazement and said "What the hell are you doing??" she replied with a tremble in her voice "The tap is too far away so if I spit on him the spray will wake him up!!" Well I just burst out laughing and this did the trick. Dene heard the laughter and realized there was no panic and the little bugger took a deep breath!! So a lesson learnt...don't panic be calm, 'don't worry be happy' and laugh!!
From then on we would all laugh out loud and he would know that there was nothing to fear and would breath without our help. We did take him for all the tests imaginable but it was just a reaction to pain and thank goodness he out grew this. Imagine him on the rugby field, fearlessly tackling the biggest bloke in an effort to assert his dominance then falling back in a faint waiting for someone to laugh or spit on him so he could breathe again!!!! He certainly gave us reason for concern in his younger years and poor Val in her effort to help actually gave us the solution and I've always made sure not to faint in Val’s company, the last thing I want is to be spat on!
Val used to call our brother Bain “Bunny” when she was little, very cute and very sweet you will agree, until one of the inter school sports days when she ran up to Bain at a school called Guinea Fowl and called him Bunny. Now Guinea Fowl High was not known for its genteel nature nor was it known for its kind and gentle boys. This was a school that prided itself in honour, strength and courage and with this code there was a lot of bullying by the seniors and Bain knew he was in for a real ragging when the boys learnt his nick name, but he never once complained to my parents about the antics of the seniors, he took it and handled it the best way he knew how.
And this is how he handled it..... Bain, his friend Mike (who they called Dog for reasons I still don’t know) and Kevin decided enough was enough and they formed a gang, it was not long before they were known as the MAFIA. They decided to give the seniors a taste of their own medicine, they would wait until an offender was on his own and then the three of them would clobber him. This obviously meant they would get a beating in return from the seniors to within inches of their lives, needless to say they continued these guerrilla tactics on the lone seniors. It was not long before the seniors erred on the side of reason....pain was not so pleasant and in view of there certainly being more pain they decided to leave the three alone... “Not so nice to being the one being bullied was it?” It didn't end there, Bain and his 'mafia' mates warned the seniors to back off bullying the juniors and trouble, pain free time was had by all. This cemented their reputation for the rest of their time at Guinea Fowl.
Another tragic story is the relationship Mat had with his Grandmother (Adrian’s mom), he was a delightful toddler who took after my side of the family and perhaps this was why she had no tolerance and just couldn't relate to him. He unfortunately picked up on this, very quickly and would challenge her biting the teat off his bottle looking her right in eye and tip the contents out over her newly washed cream white carpets with a grin on his face. It turned into an ongoing battle and at the age of two, obviously fed up, he ran down the passage and kicked his Gran, caught off guard she came tumbling down!! He ran off giggling feeling like he had just slain the dragon!! Their relationship did improve, thank goodness, but I remember the look of sheer joy when he decorated her newly painted walls with his crayons. Maybe this was when his creative side was beginning to emerge but he never did it in our house but he knew she disliked him and he didn't understand. His grandmother still talks about what a monster he was as a baby! Never underestimate children and their ability to pick up on things.
I have mentioned Bern’s mom June on a few occasions and have told you what a
Lady she is and how sweet and kind she is (even though she threatens to cut me out of her will from time to time LOL) Last year she was closing the garage door and it got stuck so she went to see what was wrong, before she knew what was happening she was drenched. The rain from the night before had pooled on the door and as the electric motor juddered back into motion it deposited all this water on wonderful Granny June. When she was telling me the story, she said to me “I have a story for your Blog!” So this is not out of menace that I am telling the story, this is Granny June sharing her hilarious moment. She described it in these words.
There I was minding my own business, looking to see why the door would not close and the heavens opened up and I was drenched. I got such a fright and stood there in my pajamas and was unable to move. Whoosh the water cascaded down on me and I was now a drowned Gran! She explained she stood there shivering and laughing at herself and her comment was “I must have looked Stark Raving Mad, with my clothes plastered against my body, my hair dripping, the water running off my nose.” And the dogs thought this was fun and she was scared they would trip her as they had no idea what was going on. She said she spluttered and spat out water and then slowly walked back to her granny flat very gingerly as the clothes were freezing wet and she was not happy to wet her carpets. What a wonderful lady, and now I have used her story in my blog as she asked me too.
I love Bern’s family, they laugh at themselves, the cry to together and they share everything. One of the most loving families I have ever met. No matter what their differences; in times of need – these are all forgotten and they rally together to be there for each other. Like our call for help when we were attacked years ago.
Bern phoned Jossie and said “Joss we need you now we need your help!” that was all she said. Jossie said “Fine, please can I have your full and correct physical address?” Well Bern was in no state to give this and she just said “Get here!” Shame Jossie was fast asleep and in that state she went into full business mode – she knew where we lived and I think her brain was trying to process the cry for help from Bern and I am sure her heart was racing…… “May I have your full and correct physical address please!” was her first response. They arrived within five minutes and were met with a picture from the depths of Hell I am sure. But we still laugh about how Jossie responded and at the hospital while we were waiting to be attended to, we teased her about it. Bern said to her “What were you thinking, I ask for help and you asked for my full and correct physical address!” Laughter…. The best healer known to man.
Now I become emotionally involved in books and movies and even a story I am writing for my children about their dangerous journey around the world. I am a real woosie and I admit it. I am re-typing the story I wrote in 1997 so I can get three copies bound for my children for them to read to their children…. (In the hopes that they will indeed make me a Grandmother – that’s if the world does not end in 2012 as the movie predicted… I am still looking for an ark, anyone have one for sale?)
In one section of the book the children face cannibals and poisonous frogs. As I was writing the part about how Mathew was poisoned, I got goose bumps and tears were on my eye lashes and I had this huge lump in my throat. I was so involved in the story I felt like it was happening. Bern’s mom takes this to another extreme, a while back we were all reading the Left Behind Series and this is about the end of the world, the Final Coming and the people who are left behind to face the 7 years of the Anti-Christ’s ruling of the world. Now Bern’s mom, June was so involved in the story checking out all the scriptures and while she was reading she found herself praying for Nicolai the Anti Christ. This is a story and she was praying for the “Devil”. She complained that she was not getting any of her chores done and had stopped sewing and she could not put the books down. When we asked her why, she responded… ‘They may carry on without me!” So cute and so heartfelt, she was so involved she did not want to miss out on a thing.
Well I am not sure if you have watched the Army Wives series on television. I was devastated when “Amanda” was killed in a bomb explosion and I still mention it from time to time about how she was so wonderful and she should not have died etc etc, a person would swear she was part of my family and I cried – yes I cried when she died. My family was tolerant to start off with but now they just say OH Mom get over it and get a life. When I really want to get them going, I send them a text and say something like. “I am so sad today, and of course they respond with the "why mom, what’s wrong and how can we help you?", and I smile and send a text back. “I am devastated – Amanda is still dead!” To which I receive vile responses, like f f sakes mom, get over it now! I love this freedom they have and this comfortable way they have with me and they are just so understanding and supportive. LOL I love them dearly
Oh dear, I suppose I have to accept that Amanda is indeed dead, and now George from Greys… how am I ever going to cope! This is a tragedy!!!! Only kidding, but I do love to tease my kids and I do so enjoy their reactions to my silliness.
I have mentioned Bern’s mom June on a few occasions and have told you what a
Lady she is and how sweet and kind she is (even though she threatens to cut me out of her will from time to time LOL) Last year she was closing the garage door and it got stuck so she went to see what was wrong, before she knew what was happening she was drenched. The rain from the night before had pooled on the door and as the electric motor juddered back into motion it deposited all this water on wonderful Granny June. When she was telling me the story, she said to me “I have a story for your Blog!” So this is not out of menace that I am telling the story, this is Granny June sharing her hilarious moment. She described it in these words.There I was minding my own business, looking to see why the door would not close and the heavens opened up and I was drenched. I got such a fright and stood there in my pajamas and was unable to move. Whoosh the water cascaded down on me and I was now a drowned Gran! She explained she stood there shivering and laughing at herself and her comment was “I must have looked Stark Raving Mad, with my clothes plastered against my body, my hair dripping, the water running off my nose.” And the dogs thought this was fun and she was scared they would trip her as they had no idea what was going on. She said she spluttered and spat out water and then slowly walked back to her granny flat very gingerly as the clothes were freezing wet and she was not happy to wet her carpets. What a wonderful lady, and now I have used her story in my blog as she asked me too.
I love Bern’s family, they laugh at themselves, the cry to together and they share everything. One of the most loving families I have ever met. No matter what their differences; in times of need – these are all forgotten and they rally together to be there for each other. Like our call for help when we were attacked years ago.
Bern phoned Jossie and said “Joss we need you now we need your help!” that was all she said. Jossie said “Fine, please can I have your full and correct physical address?” Well Bern was in no state to give this and she just said “Get here!” Shame Jossie was fast asleep and in that state she went into full business mode – she knew where we lived and I think her brain was trying to process the cry for help from Bern and I am sure her heart was racing…… “May I have your full and correct physical address please!” was her first response. They arrived within five minutes and were met with a picture from the depths of Hell I am sure. But we still laugh about how Jossie responded and at the hospital while we were waiting to be attended to, we teased her about it. Bern said to her “What were you thinking, I ask for help and you asked for my full and correct physical address!” Laughter…. The best healer known to man.
Now I become emotionally involved in books and movies and even a story I am writing for my children about their dangerous journey around the world. I am a real woosie and I admit it. I am re-typing the story I wrote in 1997 so I can get three copies bound for my children for them to read to their children…. (In the hopes that they will indeed make me a Grandmother – that’s if the world does not end in 2012 as the movie predicted… I am still looking for an ark, anyone have one for sale?)
In one section of the book the children face cannibals and poisonous frogs. As I was writing the part about how Mathew was poisoned, I got goose bumps and tears were on my eye lashes and I had this huge lump in my throat. I was so involved in the story I felt like it was happening. Bern’s mom takes this to another extreme, a while back we were all reading the Left Behind Series and this is about the end of the world, the Final Coming and the people who are left behind to face the 7 years of the Anti-Christ’s ruling of the world. Now Bern’s mom, June was so involved in the story checking out all the scriptures and while she was reading she found herself praying for Nicolai the Anti Christ. This is a story and she was praying for the “Devil”. She complained that she was not getting any of her chores done and had stopped sewing and she could not put the books down. When we asked her why, she responded… ‘They may carry on without me!” So cute and so heartfelt, she was so involved she did not want to miss out on a thing.
Well I am not sure if you have watched the Army Wives series on television. I was devastated when “Amanda” was killed in a bomb explosion and I still mention it from time to time about how she was so wonderful and she should not have died etc etc, a person would swear she was part of my family and I cried – yes I cried when she died. My family was tolerant to start off with but now they just say OH Mom get over it and get a life. When I really want to get them going, I send them a text and say something like. “I am so sad today, and of course they respond with the "why mom, what’s wrong and how can we help you?", and I smile and send a text back. “I am devastated – Amanda is still dead!” To which I receive vile responses, like f f sakes mom, get over it now! I love this freedom they have and this comfortable way they have with me and they are just so understanding and supportive. LOL I love them dearly
Oh dear, I suppose I have to accept that Amanda is indeed dead, and now George from Greys… how am I ever going to cope! This is a tragedy!!!! Only kidding, but I do love to tease my kids and I do so enjoy their reactions to my silliness.
No comments:
Post a Comment