We really live in the Technical Age - try surviving without the Internet Since April!

Well I have been without Internet since the 26th March - Great fun - the joys of having Telkom as your service provider – NOT - it is now the 27th May 2010- oh the joys and wait until the soccer fan arrivals I am sure the telephone lines and cell lines will be flooded and over run.

In between trying to be effective in my job without a telephone and internet - I re-wrote my children’s book from 1997 now that was a trip down memory lane for me. The mother side of me took over while I was writing it and that is a story all on its own.


Me in 1997!!!!

The idea was born of my need to keep communications open with them while they were staying with their father in Cape Town. The reasons for this is a long and rather tragic story and as I am not into tragedy and woe is me, suffice to say it was a tough time and I was determined to bring them back to me. Took time to get the funds and home set up, but obviously succeeded as they were returned to me.











I may even put the book on the blog or set up a new blog! Who knows where my life is destined to end up.

Now back to the book. Sarah was 10; Mat 8 and Cait was 6. Not a great age for communication. The phone calls went something like this
“So how are you my Mat; Sarah; Cait?”
“Fine, how are you?”
“How was school?”
“Fine”
“What you doing?”
“Nothing” and so on and so forth. Yes there were bits of information shared but it was like pulling teeth and very frustrating and heart sore for me. Being away from them was like no pain I can ever describe or would want anyone to experience. Ever!

Now before they left we had the bed time stories which I have mentioned in previous blogs and had many outing to the parks and roller bladed, and now this non communication - not nice and heart shattering - Cape Town as you know is far from Johannesburg and their dad was working there. One day one day I will go into how this happened but suffice to say he realized that a mother will protect her children at all costs.

I realized I need to break through the communication gap and started a story with them as the stars in the book. I would send them short chapters with a cliff hanger and wait for them to send me a “Call Me” this worked wonders. I would get a call and their first question would be.

“What happened to Jasmine the Egyptian Princess?” or “Wow mom I turned into a Ninja and saved Sarah from being eaten by the cannibals.” We finally had lift off in our communications. This was our project and I pulled in their friends and cousins into the story and kept our life in Johannesburg alive with these memories and sent them in the story all over the world on all sorts of adventures and they had big challenges to overcome - Because ultimately the fate of the world rested on their shoulders.

Now to make them aware of how much I missed them and believed in them I would have guest appearances either as a “Vision” (blush. Giggle and smile, I would never describe myself as a vision) or there would be times when I would appear in life for them when a really tough challenge was faced. Keep in mind that children live in fantasy worlds most of the time at this age and I so wanted to instill a sense that I had not abandoned them even though I was not present in their lives in Cape Town.

This book was one of treasure, adventure, cannibals, tornadoes, fires, earthquakes and monsoons to mention a few. It took six months to write and then I had my children back. Miracles of miracles.

Well my girls have been asking me to re-write it and try and get it published (once again blush – smile – sigh – hmmmm I am no literary expert but who knows) the problem with this was when I wrote it we used these discs for saving and it took 10 discs and through many moves and discs being corrupted, the task became a really big one.

I had to re-type the whole thing! Well 14 chapters morphed into 18 as I re-typed it, splitting long chapters or having to add where pages were missing. Or just give better descriptions. I must say as I typed I was impressed with how my thoughts worked and the research I did. Gosh I had no idea I had it in me. So I typed and remembered. I needed a tissue box on the desk I have to admit as the memories were powerful. But my tears were more for the challenges they faced without me there in the story – pretty much as I knew their lives were in Cape Town. I tried to instill a belief in themselves, family bond, confidence and most of all how much I believed in them and loved them.

So now 13 years later, kids grown up, working and have lives of their own - I re-type the book - a trip down memory lane that stirred so many buried hurts and resentments. I was slightly over whelmed. Wow I was mesmerized and so into the story. Not to give too much of the story away. They do get hurt and have very close encounters. And horrors or horrors I am busy writing the volcanoes story and what happens, planes are grounded coz of the volcano ash herein Iceland - current time. I phoned Bern and commented that I somehow had influenced nature and became quite panicked. When I was writing the book 13 years ago I wrote about bush fires and low and behold bad bush fires happened in Australia.

Well Bern was not so convinced and told me “Shell you are not so powerful!” and laughed at me. But I was not taking chances after that. Whenever they children were in a situation I would sms them and tell them to beware of certain things. For example. I told Caity to make sure she was bundled up warm and had a winter jacket and stayed away from Black Ice and holes in the ice and to be prepared! (I sat and typed the episode, crying like a baby, you know those gut wrenching tears. Wailing like a woman gone mad because my baby was in danger and was sick and in ICU….. I am clearly not well.)

Caity thought I had gone mad. Winter had not hit Johannesburg yet and she was wearing short sleeved shirts and Black Ice in Johannesburg was never going to happen. Her response to me was

“Mom, you are weird!” Well so much for compassion and all that. That weekend I get a phone call and Cait tells me she is dressed warmly, not going near any snow, ice, frozen areas other than maybe a frozen food section or an ice-cream. Such respect!!!! Oh dear, poor me


Sarah got a few sms’s where I told her to be careful and stay away from fire or volcanoes. She just laughed at me and told me to be real. Mathew, who lives with me, just shook his head at my tears and told me to grow up. When he left in the mornings I would tell him to be careful and that I loved him and believed in him. A bit tiresome for a 20 year old to hear - I am sure from his emotionally unstable mom.

One section was quite bad. They had just been a helicopter crash into water from the dam that had broken its banks. And the water was infected with everything and it was terrible!!!!!
Excerpts from book

“Caitlin was rushed to the trauma ward to stitch her arm and give her tetanus injections and pump her body full of antibiotics to fight off infection.
Sarah was being taken to another x-ray room to see if she had broken any ribs and to make sure none of these had punctured her lungs as this is what they were most scared of.
Mathew was having his knee stitched and a brace was put on it has he had torn his knee ligaments and they were fragile. “

I tell you Doctor House would have been proud of my knowledge of bacteria 13 years ago. I could teach him a thing or two. The infection ravaging their tiny bodies. Oh I cried as I wrote this and poor Bern had me smsing her asking her to make sure the girls were all right and to tell them to stay away from Helicopters and water. Needless to say, everyone thought I had lost my mind. And they refused to stay away from water – that would have been interesting - no bathing for a week until I had finished the chapter LOL. Yes I agree I am a little insane and am a little obsessive about my children. Yes only a little and no comments from my girls. Every time we watched Brothers and Sisters they would tell me I was like Sally Field “Nora”. I am so not obsessive…… I just worry and care and love them and stress about them.. Show me a mother who does not. My revenge will be when they are parents, and then they will know the absolute anguish of worrying about your children and loving them so much and having to let them go and make their life choices. Karma is good!!!!
So while I was typing the story with broken bones, comas and being hunted by man and beast, I admit I was a little bit unstable and neurotic. My girls never received so many sms’s about being careful in their lives. I am still not convinced that my thoughts cannot influence the world. I have just finished the new Dan Brown book and the theory is that thoughts do become “Matter” and can change the course of history so I was not taking chances and prayed for my children and protected them with good thoughts all the time! …Don’t underestimate the power of thought.

I sat here at my desk and became this blithering idiot crying into the key board and was overwhelmed with guilt that I had put them in such danger! I mean really Michelle this is a story, get a grip on reality.

Well I have a problem with getting involved with books and movies. No horrors for me as I dream them live them and cannot shake them. Then add to it that I unintentionally ruin it for everyone else by predicting the outcome or bad guy in a movie or a book. This is always a guess. So I have to stop that now, because I ruined the Mentalist last night and Shutter Island. Next time I will write it down and give it to Bern and she can check when it’s over. In my opinion this can be frustrating for the viewer when people talk or comment during a movie or series. I must learn to shut up.

So whether my book gets published or not, the reason I did it was so I can get four leather bound copies and my children can read it to their children and remember their quirks and sayings and child hood. I have a bit of stage fright right now and the thing is sitting in my cupboard waiting for inspiration.

So let’s hope I finally find the courage. I have not even sent it to my girls for a quick read because I lack the courage. Is that not silly, me who has faced death is scared of their opinion of a story I wrote for them.

There is no explaining me. I am who I am and as my friend says too often actually. IT IS WHAT IT IS.