My life, the roller coaster of unfortunate events!

Last Blog for the year 2009

While driving home last night we were on the highway and one of those large transport trucks was carrying new vehicles to their final destination and I was reminded of a college of mine who was stranded with two flat tyres.

He had not been on the side of the road for very long pondering his situation when a tow truck pulled up and offered to help him get his vehicle home.He was quite relieved as no one carries two spare wheels. So the tow truck guy loaded his vehicle onto the back on his truck and off they went.

About 5 kms from his home and car drove past them flashing his light s and waving and hooting for them to pull over.

In South Africa this not something you do, so the tow truck driver carried on driving until the other vehicle pulled up in front of him and forced him to stop.

Both Andre and the tow truck guy got out the vehicle expecting some sort of robbery or high jacking attempt.

The driver of the other vehicle was quite out of breath and extremely excited. He was stuttering with the effort to speak. Eventually he asked “Were you towing a Car, a white Opel? To which Andre replied, "What do you mean, Were you towing a white Opel?"

He turned around expectantly to show the other driver that they were indeed towing his car, only to find that there was in fact no vehicle on the back of the tow truck.

He stood there in absolute amazement, doing the fish out of the water look? And kept on repeating W T F, W T F, to which the driver said, well your vehicle is about 15kms down the road. “I was driving along minding my own business when your car rolled off the back of the vehicle and I had to do some very professional dodging as your car rolled off towards me at quite a speed, and is now in an embankment.

Listening to Andre tell the story it was actually quite funny, however it could have had quite dire consequence. The cost of two tyres now turned into a vehicle being written off. No wonder the driver of the other vehicle was quite shaken by the experience.

This is pretty much how I feel about this year. I have been dodging flying obstacles and have somehow managed to miss the head on collisions that have been almost comical in their nature however just as devastating at times. Thank goodness for the moments of personal joy and laughter my friends and family have brought me. The little mishaps that make life bearable and release the pressure of a very busy times and quite often exhausting time.

My girls have given me reason to smile and laugh on their visits, my son has been a constant supply of anecdotes’ and they have been very forthcoming with their escapades and silly moments. Light relief yes but very much needed.
I of course seem to be a magnet for the ridiculous and strange occurrences. I swear I am begging to re-think my belief that there are no aliens on earth.

Two days ago, I am waiting in the bank with Bern for all of 1 hour 20 minutes as happens at this time of the year. I left the bank several times to wander around the mall only to return and see the queue had not moved. Two tellers were on duty and I could feel my blood pressure rising especially after the last 10 weeks and adding to my frustrations is this need for strangers to tell me their life history. I swear I have therapist tattooed on my head, or I do give a damn, share with me.

Within two minutes of me re-entering the bank - I had this arbitrary lady telling me her life history and asking me if I had brought a sleeping bag to sleep in the bank as the queue was just not moving. I looked at her in astonishment. Of the 50 people or so in the bank she chose to speak to me?

I was told about the stranded people at the airports, and next thing she was sharing her Christmas plans and I stood there and said to myself “Like I really care? And why pick me? And Please stop, it’s hot and I really don’t feel like listening?

I would have thought the highly annoyed look on my face would have kept even the bravest person away from me….. but no she babbles off and I am then told that she is going in for an operation and that this is a very difficult time for her and I nod and smile (grimace) and ask the powers in the heavens “Why me Lord” After what seemed like an eternity of listening to her jabber on, she is finally helped by one of the banks assistants and I sigh a sigh of relief.

Only to have the next person in the queue decide I need to hear about how long they have been waiting to be served and land up being drawn into a conversation about service levels and how the customer is treated so badly. Eventually a manager is called for and I listen to the Teller Supervisor tell the client who was complaining bitterly that she has been standing in the queue for 30 minutes and it had not moved.

Now I am passionate about service levels as this is my industry, I expected the Bank supervisor to be sympathetic and offer some sort of explanation or apology, only to hear the Supervisor explain in a voice that could only be described as disdainful. “Deal with it Lady, we don’t plan for the end of the year rush.”


I stood there and watched in amazement at the absolute lack of care, concern or even commitment from this bank and wanted to start yelling at the top of my voice “STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!”

This then got me started, I mean by now we were waiting for the cheque to be cleared and it was already over an hour we had been standing the queue. So on the top of my voice I said to the customer who was complaining about being there for 30 minutes that we had been standing in the queue for 1 hour 20 minutes and she was not to expect anything from the Supervisor as this bank clearly does not care, if fact we would have been served quicker if we were in a government building.

Bern watched me with a wary eye as she knows how I become when I have just had it. The little fox terrier in my takes over and I start to rant and rave and by the time I was finished explaining the lack of service and how the banks do not care as they are in fact the controller of OUR money, everyone in the queue was ready to join me in My TOY TOY (strike) and in my minds eye could see a few of them doing the typical south African style of dancing as they strike and riot.

I am sure the staff of the bank were very happy to see me leave as I was about to be escorted off the premises for starting a riot I as I had started the unrest in their eyes. I just shake my head in amazement that in this technical time we all live in and the striving for service excellence, we are still held hostage to the small minded people who control our money and they know we will not leave the bank and never shop there again as they have our finances and we are hostage to their lack of concern and they just don’t give a damn attitude!

As I said this has not been the best year for me and my nerves are shot and my fuse very short. However the other day without meaning to - I entertained the staff where I work, I had one of those comical moments which can only be described as something out of a slap stick movie.

I was carrying the coffee cups to the front offices, when my jeans decided right there and then to slip down. I am either losing weight (NOT) or the universe has decided I need to be the BUTT of all jokes. I felt them slip past my hips and rest on my thighs.

I stood there and called for Bern to help, expecting her to take the coffee cups from my hands, but she decided it would be easier just to pull my pants up for me. Well I felt like one of those babies who sit in their bouncy chair you connect to a doorway; as she lifted me up with such enthusiasm – with the effort she was using to pull my pants up; I now had my jeans sitting under my chin!

All of this has been captured on the security camera and I keep on expecting to see my butt displayed on U –Tube. I really need to do some serious Kama work and give it back to the universe as these Magical moments (NOT) have to stop happening to me or I am sure I will land up in an asylum for the insane!

That being said, I think I should have been committed years ago, but no one has had the courage to tell me, or they enjoy the spectacle I make of myself. I turned around to see who was watching and to my horror the drivers and assistants had witnessed the whole thing and had the pleasure of seeing my Plumber’s Crack! I bowed and smiled and then locked myself in my office until they had gone out on their daily deliveries.

My life, the roller coaster of unfortunate events!